THE BERNARD PIVOT BLOGFEST

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First things first: Don’t fergit to sign up for the February 28th “SUPER 8 GREAT DEBUT ALBUMS” Blogfest. Click HERE!

Don’t fret, friend, I’ll remind ya again at the end.
(Yeah, I’m poetically unchallenged.)
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It seemed that it would be such a quick ‘n’ easy project, that I signed up to participate in Nicole Ducleroir’s ‘Bernard Pivot Blogfest’. I thought to myself: What the hell? (Even though “hell” isn’t my favorite curse word.)

The idea is to answer ten questions conceived by Bernard Pivot which James Lipton routinely asks each and every one of his guests on the TV program ‘Actor’s Studio’. So here are my answers to these not-so-challenging questions:

1. What is your favorite word?

Oh, shoot, that’s a challenging question! There are so many words that greatly appeal to me. I mean, ya gotta love “antidisestablishmentarianism”, right? Who cares what it means! And, of course, “supercalifragilisticexpi—” ...oh, never mind – my fingers are getting tired.

Well, one that I really like is “bourbon”. I love the look of it, the sound of it, the smell of it, and even the taste of it. Yep, I’ve always gotten great pleasure out of “bourbon” – I enjoy typing it almost as much as I enjoy drinking it. But truthfully, my favorite word can change daily.

However, for today, I’ll go with an old standby that perpetually ranks amongst my Top 25. Today’s word is “FLUMMOXED” . Use it early and often.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Oh, I dislike it when people act pretentiously, using a multitude of large words in order to give the impression that they are especially intelligent or well-educated. For example, I dislike every other word that emanates from the mouth of Dennis Miller or stumbles off the tongue of Todd Christensen.

But non-pretentious words that I also dislike are “chick” and “sucks”. [Hmmm... I swear I didn’t premeditatedly put those two words together like that. It was merely an unfortunate coincidence. No, really!] However, despite my displeasure with them, I do occasionally use both of those words when I’m being that Stephen who only my Mother could love.

But a word I don’t like and never use is “Groovy”. It’s been on my Banned Vocabulary list since “The Summer Of Love” – 1967.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

GOLDENSHADOW – the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing.

4. What turns you off?

The only thing that turns me off quicker than a tattooed woman is a tattooed woman driving a pickup truck. In other words, two-thirds of half of the American population turns me off. [How’s that Individuality workin’ for ya, babe?]

5. What is your favorite curse word?

I don’t use profanity, so I’m not going to

answer this bullshit question!

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Oh, hokey-smoke! Nothing beats that little *eeep!* sound that a cork makes when it’s pulled from a bottle of bourbon!

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

The barking of small dogs. Nothing compels me to preheat the oven faster than a yapping Chihuahua!

The only thing that could possibly be worse is the screeching of Chihuahua nails on a chalkboard!

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8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Other than my own? Oh, heck, just about anything - you name it!

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Other than my own? A Chihuahua breeder.

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10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Come on in and join Me at the ‘Cloud Nine Last Supper Club’, where Mahalia Jackson’s always on the stage and the bourbon’s always on the House.”

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For “Mo’ Fun With Chihuahuas” see . . .
The Chihuahua Cutthroat

And sign up for the February 28th “Super 8 Great Debut Albums” Blogfest. (Told ya I’d remind ya again at the end, friend.)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

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