O IS FOR "O'DOGHERTY" & "OVER AND OUT"

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“And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back, Jack,
See you later alligator, see you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, it's a companion
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions, it never needs ironing . . .”

GOOD STUFFS
O IS FOR “O’DOGHERTY” :
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In one of my recent Blog Bits prior to the start of this April A To Z Blog Challenge, I concluded with the following:

Yoey O’Dogherty is a Peabody And Sherman Award-winning documentary filmmaker and professor emeritus at the Saint Balderdash School of Journalism in Bumphuhk, Idaho, where he lives with his three wives, sixteen little red noses and a horse that sweats.

Shortly afterwards, I received a comment from my dear friend The Flying Aardvark in which she said:

"It is always good to see something involving the ubiquitous Yoey O’Dogherty (the man has so many occupations)."

In case you don’t know what she was referring to, allow me to explain: Anyone who has read my writings for even a short period of time couldn’t help noticing that occasionally a character named Yoey O’Dogherty makes an unpredictable appearance, and always wearing a different disguise. Yoey has been so many people that I actually lost track. But I just conducted a little research and I’m going to share the results with you. Although this is not a complete list, I have copied and pasted below my favorite identities of O’Dogherty, the man of mystery:
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The brilliant and world-renowned South American sociologist, Yoey O'Dogherty

The legendary Funk drummer from Cork, Ireland, Yoey O'Dogherty

the New Jersey store Santa, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O'Dogherty, the pastor at The Holy Vineyard Church in Napa Valley, California

the Norwegian, counter-revolutionary General, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O'Dogherty, that funky editor of Morocco's cowboy music magazine 'SADDLEBAGS 'N' SIX-STRINGS'

As Pope Yoey O'Dogherty VII wrote in his second papal bull, "Dovete leggere tutto il libro del Morison franco e mangiare tutti i vostri spinaci; sono buoni per voi."
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In closing, I'll suggest the same thing to you that the
four-time national surfing champion, Yoey O'Dogherty, once suggested to me in 1977 while we were "hanging ten" on a nine foot wave in sunny Malibu, California: "Dude, like let's go get some avocados, man!"
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So, sit back now with a nice cup of hot chocolate or a glass of Sailor Yoey O'Dogherty's 130 proof South Pacific Raping And Pillaging Spiced Rum

that great rodeo star and bullrider extraordinaire, Yoey O'Dogherty

The internationally renowned Peruvian poet, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O’Dogherty is probably the most persecuted and prosecuted songwriter ever. How was he to know the chick was only 17? It was dark, she said she was legal, and her bra said she was “36.”

the charismatic presence of the legendary priest from the Russian Orthodox Church, Yoey O'Dogherty

And for you Catholics in the crowd, I once described him as:
my hero, Yoey O'Dogherty, who is the patron saint of patron saint medals

those immortal words of Admiral Yoey O'Dogherty, spoken to the brave men aboard the U.S.S. Queeg after the rout of Communist Chinese forces at the Battle of Phatphuc Mao

No, Aaron, I was not "completely drunk" when I watched POINT OF ORDER. In fact, I only managed a slight "glow". I wasn't able to purchase the "Full Liquidated Condition" (FLC) because my paycheck from the C.I.A. was inadvertently deposited into the bank account of some character named Yoey O'Dogherty, a major honcho in the Communist Party it seems.

In one place, I have my main man, O’Dogherty, leading a real backwoods Country-Western band:

And what’s worse, not a single vote for Yoey O’Dogherty And His Corn Liquor Boys? How soon they forget! What about those legendary YO&HCLB albums like “My Baby Busted My Heart But I’m Cryin’ ‘Cause I Sliced Her Onion” and “If I Had A Nuclear Warhead-Tipped Missile (Baby, We’d Have A Hot Time In The Barn Tonight!)” or their mega-selling greatest hits package, “Drunken, One-Eyed, Three-Legged Jackal In A Dog Show” ? Then there’s that Grammy award-winning collection of Country Christmas classics titled “Santy Claus, Leave Some Chewin’ Tobaccy And The Hatfield Sisters In My Crusty Ol’ Stockings Tonight” and the soundtrack to their Emmy award-winning educational series for mountain children called “Country Folk, Corn Liquor, And Matches Don’t Mix!” And have you already forgotten their fabulous live album, “Y’All Come Back Now, Hear?” recorded during their reunion tour, thirty years after the band last broke up?

But it will probably come as a surprise to learn that, in fact, there REALLY IS a Yoey O’Dogherty! However, his true identity is known to only a few individuals and I aim to leave it that way.

Of all the things I’ve ever written about O’Dogherty, I suppose my very favorite would have to be this:

Of course, some of the Old West's characters are not as well known now, even though their legacy still casts a long shadow. For instance, there was DOCTOR YOEY O'DOGHERTY who lived in the rip-roaring mining camp of Mentira Grande, California, during the gold rush of 1849, and who later enlisted as a Union surgeon at the tail end of the Civil War. In the course of his career as a frontier "sawbones", O'Dogherty treated a total of 28 gunshot wound victims and "lost" every single patient, thus giving birth to that famous expression, "I'll be doggone!"

And speaking of “doggone” . . . . .

BAD STUFFS
O IS FOR “OVER AND OUT” :
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I entered into the April A To Z Blog Challenge in the 11th hour and with some serious reservations and doubts about whether or not I would be able to see it through to completion.

5: Between holding down a full-time job, composing DAILY Blog Bits, reading the Blogs of others, leaving comments and responding to comments, I am not left with enough time to tend to other matters. Simply put, the April A To Z Blog Challenge requires an investment of more time than I have available for Blog-related activities on a daily basis.

4: As it is, projects I should be tending to around my house are being neglected; unanswered E-mails from friends have begun to stack up; my local liquor store owner has forgotten my name; and I haven’t done my exercise workout program even once in the past two weeks! Every day that I post a Blog Bit my biceps shrink a little more. This is unacceptable. What will Bertha O’Bese at the bowling alley say when she sees the muscle mass and definition I’ve lost? Will she still buy me beer? Or will she turn me into a “gutter ball”?

3: Prior to the April A To Z Blog Challenge, I was in the habit of posting a new Blog Bit once every 7 to 10 days. I don’t think I have so much to say of worthwhile quality that it justifies a new Blog installment 6 days a week for a month. In fact, I feel that the majority of what I have posted here on ‘Stuffs’ over the last two weeks is substandard material which I would have deemed unworthy of being posted under normal circumstances.
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Furthermore, posting daily on ‘Stuffs’ has caused me to entirely ignore my second Blog, the political ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’, which, I should point out, I generally consider to be of greater importance than is ‘Stuffs’. So I’ve been focusing on the runt and starving the prince. (Well, maybe not a “prince”, but a Blog with well-groomed hair and clean underwear.)

I do my best writing (“best writing” being a relative term, obviously) when I am not under the gun; when I’m writing solely because I am inspired to do so. But I believe this feeling that I am “required” to write has adversely affected whatever creative capacity I might have. My A To Z Blogging has come off appearing uninspired because . . . it is. It IS uninspired. (Never mind asking how something can be what it isn’t.) Or to put it another way: I sucked. ...But I DIDN’T inhale!

2: On “Day-F”, our illustrious leader, Arlee Bird, posted the following on his Blog ‘Tossing It Out’:

"Such is the journey we are on in the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge. … It should not be the arduous trek of Captain Willard in search of Colonel Kurtz and his visions of horror, but it should be closer to the fun and magic of Dorothy and friends on their way to see the wizard."

Sadly, however, because of the pressure this daily blogging has caused me to experience due to my time limitations, these exercises have come to resemble a barrel of obligations more than a barrel full of (flying) monkeys. And since no one has offered to pay me a fortune for my blogging (those cheap S.O.B.s!), it isn’t reasonable for me to keep pushing myself in an endeavor that isn’t rewarding me with oodles of fun. Or even a fifth of fun (not to mention a fifth of rum).

1!: To put all of this in a nutshell after it’s reached ‘War And Peace’ proportions: I quit.

“Uncle!” I just wanna return to my own lame-ass way of blogging. (Uhm… sorry. I didn’t mean to say “ass”. I know that’s not very nice.)

But I would be remiss if I should say goodbye without first thanking everyone who took the time to read my crap. And especially if they spent even more time in posting comments to me. So, in a word: Thank you! (Well, I did tell you on Day-A that my arithmetic is atrocious.) You’re beautiful peoples from lovely homes and I wish you the best! I will try to check in on some of you in the weeks to follow as you continue to z-end. And I am leaving my "Gilligan’s Island: Mary Ann Or Ginger? Grudge Match Poll" active on this Blog until May 1st, so in a way, I still have a hand in the activities.

And in the event anyone was curious about the words I began every one of my posts with, they come from a song by Tom Waits titled ‘Step Right Up’ – a spoof of advertising cliches. When I got to "Day-W" I was planning to tell you why I feel that from 1973 through 1982, Waits established himself as the world’s all-time greatest lyricist. But, for me, "Day-W" has come early.

On his Blog, Arlee Bird asks, “The April A To Z Blog Challenge - Do you have what it takes?” Well, I’ve now discovered the answer to that question is a resounding, “Uh-Uh”.

Personal note to Arlee Bird:
I’m genuinely sorry to have disappointed you, Brother. Seriously! I really mean it. But, rLEE-b, look at the bright side:
I won’t have to kill ya after allz.

“This is z-end, my only friend, z-end
Of our elaborate plans, z-end
Of everything that stands, z-end”

In other words, this is Stephen T. McCarthy saying, “Over And Out”.

Le McQuote Du Jour:
“But I tried, didn’t I? …Damn it! At least I did that.”
~ R. P. McMurphy (‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
Doggtor of Semiliterate, Half-Naked Blogological Studies
Stream O’Consciousness University in Ostracizeopolis, Oceania

Letter Links:
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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