Saturday, May 24, 2008


[*From the STMcC Archive: 2008, Jan. 1st.]

Last October, my brother Napoleon and I held an estate sale in preparation for putting our house on the market with the hope of selling it and getting the hell out of Hell (A.K.A. Airheadzona). Our real estate agent put us in contact with a nice woman named Kathy who conducted the estate sale for us (last name withheld as I’m sure she wouldn’t want the world to know that she knows us). Enclosed with our check from Kathy was a sale recap which included the comments: “You guys have been the most entertaining clients I have had to date. It has been a pleasure to meet and work for you.” [FYI: My Brother and I are also available to perform at birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, wedding receptions, bachelor parties and wet T-shirt contests (be sure to ask about our senior citizens discount). Yes, you too can hire and be personally entertained by the renowned Brothers McCarthy who over the years have thrilled countless visiting circus freaks and carny folks!]

I was pleasantly surprised when we received a homemade computer-generated Christmas card from Kathy, the back of which read, “Printed with lead-based ink in China (just kidding!)” Now you understand how this woman can appreciate foul balls like Nappy and me. The card had the names of all of the family members printed in it, along with their dogs (2) and cats (7), and mentioned last was “FLOATIE (Frog. Yes, he’s still alive!)”

I hopped right on an E-mail thanking Kathy for the card, and I wrote: “I was very relieved to learn that FLOATIE is still with us. (Even though I didn't even know there was a Floatie until your card arrived.) Ya know, I've always been a sucker for a tough toad. And that Floatie... well, I guess they just don't come any tougher than he is. That frog may be the last amphibian standing. (I hope he remembers to turn out the lights after he's eaten the last fly standing.)”

I came to learn that FLOATIE is a water frog that Kathy gave to her Son for Christmas when he was 7 years old. That was 18 years ago; Floatie was just a tadpole then, and Kathy’s Son was only a tadlad. Floatie (who was only expected to live 2-5 years) became a frog, while Kathy’s Son became a man. Floatie Frog is now only two years away from breaking the record. Someday, some filmmaker is going to make a documentary about fantastic Floatie titled ’THE FROG THAT WOULDN’T CROAK.’

Naturally, this story made me think of DR. RON PAUL who is running for president in 2008. So strongly do I believe that if this current Congressman was leading the Executive branch of our government it would be a healthy tonic and healing balm for the USA, that on December 27th, I made the ultimate sacrifice for him. No, I didn’t lay down my life –- something much more drastic and depressing than that: I reregistered as a Republican. I have been an Independent for many years, but Airheadzona recently changed its voting procedures, making Independents ineligible to vote in the primary elections. Only by becoming a “Repugnantcan” am I able to cast my vote for RON PAUL in Airheadzona’s Primary. I hope to be living in another state soon anyway, so I will revert to an Independent after I leave here and the state of Airheadzona returns my grey matter to me. (When you arrive here, they confiscate your brain at the border but give you a claim check in the event that you should ever recognize your mistake and move back: “Brains? We don’t need no stinking brains! Bienvenidos a Arizona. Marque el numero dos para continuar su vida en espanol.”)

But what of DR. RON PAUL? Despite the old adage (“Never trust a man with two first names”), Doctor Paul has proven himself to be a trustworthy American Patriot by remaining faithful to the U.S. Constitution during his many years as a Texas Congressman. Never once has he robbed Ron to pay Paul. So many times has he voted against legislation which clearly usurped the Constitution’s authority and transgressed its articulated limitations on Federal power that in the Legislative branch of our government, he has the nickname “DOCTOR NO.” I have been following RON PAUL’s Congressional career for years and I’ve often said that RON PAUL is probably the only real American patriot in Washington D.C. That sentiment is seconded by the former Treasury Secretary William Simon, who has said that Ron Paul is the “ONE EXCEPTION TO THE GANG OF 535” on Capitol Hill.

Shortly after he announced his candidacy, DOCTOR PAUL was interviewed by Stephen Colbert on TV’s The Colbert Report. I think this exchange really summed it all up.

COLBERT: “I’m not sure how to feel about you. … You voted against The Patriot Act, you voted against the Iraq war, but you also hate taxes and you hate gun control. … Are you a Republican or are you not a Republican?”

DR. PAUL: “Now you’re confused because I’m a Constitutionalist and you haven’t met one in a long time. And it’s not that unusual to put those together if you believe in The Rule Of Law, and you believe in The American Tradition, and believe in Limited Government, and believe in Liberty.”

Having donated money to a politician’s political campaign for the first time in my life, I have received E-mail updates from RON PAUL. One of them included the following:

“I want you to know how much I owe you, and everyone dedicated to the real America. You and I know our real country - the America of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, of economic, civil, and personal liberty, of strong families and communities, of great businesses and professions, of strong peace and low taxes and sound money - all of which are under assault by the politicians who occupy our nation's capital.

“With your help -- and I can't do anything without your help -- I want to change all that. Together, we can restore our constitutional republic, and oust the mountebanks who violate the ideals of the Founders with income taxes, Federal Reserve inflation, deficit spending, preemptive wars, torture, secret prisons, and abolition of habeas corpus.”

On December 3rd, RON PAUL sent an E-mail that nearly inspired me to go outside and fly my Betsy Ross American Revolutionary flag:

“There were two moments I especially enjoyed at the CNN/YouTube debate -- despite my frustration at some of the questions, and the maldistribution of time.

“First, I was pleased at John McCain's attack … mainstream politicians NEVER attack an opponent they think is far behind. The McCain campaign, we've heard, is worried sick about New Hampshire, and they thought a slam at me would help. Ha! Of course, it only strengthened our forces.

"Then, after the debate, Rudy Giuliani walked up to me and said, "Oooh, you sure have a LOT of supporters." It's only the beginning, I told him.

“Indeed, he could have told that by the crowd outside after the debate. Mitt Romney had a few people, but no one else did. We, on the other hand, had about 500 enthusiastic revolutionaries, plus a boat, a trolley, and two planes towing lighted signs. As I looked out at the crowd, I thought: the establishment has no idea of what they are facing. We have an army of freedom, prosperity, and peace. As the L.A. Times political blog noted the other day, the British also thought they had no problem with the Americans -- until Yorktown.”

I would love to see RON PAUL win the Republican nomination and then name FLOATIE FROG as his running mate. Just like Floatie, the enduring American Ideals of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of a Free Lunch will NEVER DIE!

I am posting website addresses below and I urge you all to explore them well and consider them deeply before casting any vote for America’s next president. The first is RON PAUL’s official presidential campaign website detailing his voting pattern and what he continues to stand for. The second is an article he wrote titled “The End Of Dollar Hegemony” and for many people it will be an absolutely shocking piece which examines the house of cards we call our “economy” and explains why our servicemen have been dying (and will continue to die) in the Middle East.

Bear in mind that RON PAUL is the only presidential candidate from either party who has vowed to end the Iraq War immediately if elected. He may also be the only presidential candidate from either party who does not have ties to the Council on Foreign Relations (I’m not sure if Duncan Hunter does). If that statement holds no meaning for you, then run – don’t walk! – to my ’So You’d Like To’ guide titled “STOP BEING A USEFUL IDIOT.”

The Ron Paul Website:

The American Economy And The War In Iraq:

Ron Paul’s latest books for sale are titled:
'The Revolution: A Manifesto' [*Published 2008, April]
'A Foreign Policy Of Freedom: Peace, Commerce, And Honest Friendship'

Please check out the websites above.
If not for your country and not for me,
Then do it for FLOATIE,
So he’ll live forever in the Land of the Free.

Let’s put RON PAUL in the White House so that Hellary, Obama, Rudy, Romney, and Old Man McCain will learn firsthand that “It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Green” with envy. FLOATIE would approve -- after all, RON PAUL has already been endorsed by The American Frog Federation (AFF), and we all know that traditionally when a presidential candidate endorsed by the AFF is elected, it means that there will not be four more years of “Winter” in the USA.

Sincerely, Your Friend And Mine…

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
(Whose greatest dream is to become so wealthy that he can afford to get drunk in an airport bar.)

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