Saturday, April 17, 2010


“And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back, Jack,
See you later alligator, see you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, it's a companion
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions, it never needs ironing . . .”


In one of my recent Blog Bits prior to the start of this April A To Z Blog Challenge, I concluded with the following:

Yoey O’Dogherty is a Peabody And Sherman Award-winning documentary filmmaker and professor emeritus at the Saint Balderdash School of Journalism in Bumphuhk, Idaho, where he lives with his three wives, sixteen little red noses and a horse that sweats.

Shortly afterwards, I received a comment from my dear friend The Flying Aardvark in which she said:

"It is always good to see something involving the ubiquitous Yoey O’Dogherty (the man has so many occupations)."

In case you don’t know what she was referring to, allow me to explain: Anyone who has read my writings for even a short period of time couldn’t help noticing that occasionally a character named Yoey O’Dogherty makes an unpredictable appearance, and always wearing a different disguise. Yoey has been so many people that I actually lost track. But I just conducted a little research and I’m going to share the results with you. Although this is not a complete list, I have copied and pasted below my favorite identities of O’Dogherty, the man of mystery:
The brilliant and world-renowned South American sociologist, Yoey O'Dogherty

The legendary Funk drummer from Cork, Ireland, Yoey O'Dogherty

the New Jersey store Santa, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O'Dogherty, the pastor at The Holy Vineyard Church in Napa Valley, California

the Norwegian, counter-revolutionary General, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O'Dogherty, that funky editor of Morocco's cowboy music magazine 'SADDLEBAGS 'N' SIX-STRINGS'

As Pope Yoey O'Dogherty VII wrote in his second papal bull, "Dovete leggere tutto il libro del Morison franco e mangiare tutti i vostri spinaci; sono buoni per voi."

In closing, I'll suggest the same thing to you that the
four-time national surfing champion, Yoey O'Dogherty, once suggested to me in 1977 while we were "hanging ten" on a nine foot wave in sunny Malibu, California: "Dude, like let's go get some avocados, man!"
So, sit back now with a nice cup of hot chocolate or a glass of Sailor Yoey O'Dogherty's 130 proof South Pacific Raping And Pillaging Spiced Rum

that great rodeo star and bullrider extraordinaire, Yoey O'Dogherty

The internationally renowned Peruvian poet, Yoey O'Dogherty

Yoey O’Dogherty is probably the most persecuted and prosecuted songwriter ever. How was he to know the chick was only 17? It was dark, she said she was legal, and her bra said she was “36.”

the charismatic presence of the legendary priest from the Russian Orthodox Church, Yoey O'Dogherty

And for you Catholics in the crowd, I once described him as:
my hero, Yoey O'Dogherty, who is the patron saint of patron saint medals

those immortal words of Admiral Yoey O'Dogherty, spoken to the brave men aboard the U.S.S. Queeg after the rout of Communist Chinese forces at the Battle of Phatphuc Mao

No, Aaron, I was not "completely drunk" when I watched POINT OF ORDER. In fact, I only managed a slight "glow". I wasn't able to purchase the "Full Liquidated Condition" (FLC) because my paycheck from the C.I.A. was inadvertently deposited into the bank account of some character named Yoey O'Dogherty, a major honcho in the Communist Party it seems.

In one place, I have my main man, O’Dogherty, leading a real backwoods Country-Western band:

And what’s worse, not a single vote for Yoey O’Dogherty And His Corn Liquor Boys? How soon they forget! What about those legendary YO&HCLB albums like “My Baby Busted My Heart But I’m Cryin’ ‘Cause I Sliced Her Onion” and “If I Had A Nuclear Warhead-Tipped Missile (Baby, We’d Have A Hot Time In The Barn Tonight!)” or their mega-selling greatest hits package, “Drunken, One-Eyed, Three-Legged Jackal In A Dog Show” ? Then there’s that Grammy award-winning collection of Country Christmas classics titled “Santy Claus, Leave Some Chewin’ Tobaccy And The Hatfield Sisters In My Crusty Ol’ Stockings Tonight” and the soundtrack to their Emmy award-winning educational series for mountain children called “Country Folk, Corn Liquor, And Matches Don’t Mix!” And have you already forgotten their fabulous live album, “Y’All Come Back Now, Hear?” recorded during their reunion tour, thirty years after the band last broke up?

But it will probably come as a surprise to learn that, in fact, there REALLY IS a Yoey O’Dogherty! However, his true identity is known to only a few individuals and I aim to leave it that way.

Of all the things I’ve ever written about O’Dogherty, I suppose my very favorite would have to be this:

Of course, some of the Old West's characters are not as well known now, even though their legacy still casts a long shadow. For instance, there was DOCTOR YOEY O'DOGHERTY who lived in the rip-roaring mining camp of Mentira Grande, California, during the gold rush of 1849, and who later enlisted as a Union surgeon at the tail end of the Civil War. In the course of his career as a frontier "sawbones", O'Dogherty treated a total of 28 gunshot wound victims and "lost" every single patient, thus giving birth to that famous expression, "I'll be doggone!"

And speaking of “doggone” . . . . .


I entered into the April A To Z Blog Challenge in the 11th hour and with some serious reservations and doubts about whether or not I would be able to see it through to completion.

5: Between holding down a full-time job, composing DAILY Blog Bits, reading the Blogs of others, leaving comments and responding to comments, I am not left with enough time to tend to other matters. Simply put, the April A To Z Blog Challenge requires an investment of more time than I have available for Blog-related activities on a daily basis.

4: As it is, projects I should be tending to around my house are being neglected; unanswered E-mails from friends have begun to stack up; my local liquor store owner has forgotten my name; and I haven’t done my exercise workout program even once in the past two weeks! Every day that I post a Blog Bit my biceps shrink a little more. This is unacceptable. What will Bertha O’Bese at the bowling alley say when she sees the muscle mass and definition I’ve lost? Will she still buy me beer? Or will she turn me into a “gutter ball”?

3: Prior to the April A To Z Blog Challenge, I was in the habit of posting a new Blog Bit once every 7 to 10 days. I don’t think I have so much to say of worthwhile quality that it justifies a new Blog installment 6 days a week for a month. In fact, I feel that the majority of what I have posted here on ‘Stuffs’ over the last two weeks is substandard material which I would have deemed unworthy of being posted under normal circumstances.
Furthermore, posting daily on ‘Stuffs’ has caused me to entirely ignore my second Blog, the political ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’, which, I should point out, I generally consider to be of greater importance than is ‘Stuffs’. So I’ve been focusing on the runt and starving the prince. (Well, maybe not a “prince”, but a Blog with well-groomed hair and clean underwear.)

I do my best writing (“best writing” being a relative term, obviously) when I am not under the gun; when I’m writing solely because I am inspired to do so. But I believe this feeling that I am “required” to write has adversely affected whatever creative capacity I might have. My A To Z Blogging has come off appearing uninspired because . . . it is. It IS uninspired. (Never mind asking how something can be what it isn’t.) Or to put it another way: I sucked. ...But I DIDN’T inhale!

2: On “Day-F”, our illustrious leader, Arlee Bird, posted the following on his Blog ‘Tossing It Out’:

"Such is the journey we are on in the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge. … It should not be the arduous trek of Captain Willard in search of Colonel Kurtz and his visions of horror, but it should be closer to the fun and magic of Dorothy and friends on their way to see the wizard."

Sadly, however, because of the pressure this daily blogging has caused me to experience due to my time limitations, these exercises have come to resemble a barrel of obligations more than a barrel full of (flying) monkeys. And since no one has offered to pay me a fortune for my blogging (those cheap S.O.B.s!), it isn’t reasonable for me to keep pushing myself in an endeavor that isn’t rewarding me with oodles of fun. Or even a fifth of fun (not to mention a fifth of rum).

1!: To put all of this in a nutshell after it’s reached ‘War And Peace’ proportions: I quit.

“Uncle!” I just wanna return to my own lame-ass way of blogging. (Uhm… sorry. I didn’t mean to say “ass”. I know that’s not very nice.)

But I would be remiss if I should say goodbye without first thanking everyone who took the time to read my crap. And especially if they spent even more time in posting comments to me. So, in a word: Thank you! (Well, I did tell you on Day-A that my arithmetic is atrocious.) You’re beautiful peoples from lovely homes and I wish you the best! I will try to check in on some of you in the weeks to follow as you continue to z-end. And I am leaving my "Gilligan’s Island: Mary Ann Or Ginger? Grudge Match Poll" active on this Blog until May 1st, so in a way, I still have a hand in the activities.

And in the event anyone was curious about the words I began every one of my posts with, they come from a song by Tom Waits titled ‘Step Right Up’ – a spoof of advertising cliches. When I got to "Day-W" I was planning to tell you why I feel that from 1973 through 1982, Waits established himself as the world’s all-time greatest lyricist. But, for me, "Day-W" has come early.

On his Blog, Arlee Bird asks, “The April A To Z Blog Challenge - Do you have what it takes?” Well, I’ve now discovered the answer to that question is a resounding, “Uh-Uh”.

Personal note to Arlee Bird:
I’m genuinely sorry to have disappointed you, Brother. Seriously! I really mean it. But, rLEE-b, look at the bright side:
I won’t have to kill ya after allz.

“This is z-end, my only friend, z-end
Of our elaborate plans, z-end
Of everything that stands, z-end”

In other words, this is Stephen T. McCarthy saying, “Over And Out”.

Le McQuote Du Jour:
“But I tried, didn’t I? …Damn it! At least I did that.”
~ R. P. McMurphy (‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
Doggtor of Semiliterate, Half-Naked Blogological Studies
Stream O’Consciousness University in Ostracizeopolis, Oceania

Letter Links:

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.



I for one am sorry to see you go, I have enjoyed your blogs very much.I have learnt from them as of many people, but at the end of the day it is your decision. I wish you well.


arlee bird said...

Thank you for trying. Since you already know how I feel about this we'll see what anyone else has to say. And I hope after Sunday, and you've had time to rest and reflect, you will decide to come back to us who love you dearly. We still had Tiny Tim and Tom Waits to look forward to and I was anxious to see how you would handle Q, V, X, and Z. You are a blogger extraordinaire in my estimation and you will be missed by me in this challenge.

Hope you will at least consider posting something for the May 3rd A to Z Challenge Reflections Mega Post. I would have liked to read your thoughts on the whole thing.
Your Blog Pal,

Raquel Byrnes said...

Stephen King has a fictional Uncle Otto that appears in a lot of his stories either as an actual character or as being quoted. I always thought this was kind of Hitchcock's cameos.

Bud Ezekiel H. said...

i hear you loud and clear on things "being neglected." same here. but you did a great a job imho and there really are'nt winners or losers in this gig.i'm going to continue following you regardless because i enjoy reading here:)

Marjorie said...

Well, I enjoyed reading your "Stuffs" from A-O. It's too bad you aren't going to be able to finish, but such is life. :-(

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Thanks for your understanding and for your comments. You always seemed to be the first to leave a message.

rLEE-b ~
I thank you, my good friend!
Believe it or not, I wasn't planning to make Day-T about Tiny Tim. (Just when you thought you knew me, eh? Ha!)

I did have something else in mind for Day-W besides "Waits". Took some photos for it in advance and everything. Maybe I'll save 'em and post this thang on Day-W (the 27th) just for the heckuvit.

Q = "Quest Of The Animal" (another one of my old poems).
V = "Vincent Van Gogh" (one of my old heroes).
X = Xtremely Un-P.C. And Unrepentant (a shameless plug for my political Blog).
Z = "Zelig" (a review of the 1983 Woody Allen movie).

I hadn't figured out yet what the second half of those letters was going to be, but I would have thought up sumpin'.

I didn't know that about Stephen King (I've never read any of his books). But I know that Steven Spielberg shows a shooting star in every one of his movies.

Yoey doesn't ALWAYS appear - just when you least expect him. Ha! Thanks for being here for me!

Hey, THANKS, Brother! Yeah, it just got to be too much. But at least I played along beyond the half way mark. (I really only did it for my friend Arlee Bird. Had it not meant something to him, I never would have even considered it from the start. A "Blog-A-Day"? Definitely NOT my speed.)

But I thank you for the kind words! And I appreciate your honest, no-holds-barred style of blogging. I intend to check in and see what you're up to also, as time permits.

Thanks for your understanding. And I'm going to head on over to YOUR Blog right NOW, to see what "Mud" you're into at the moment.


~ Stephen
"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11

Lisa said...

I've stopped by previously and read your farewell comment, but wasn't sure what to say, so didn't say anything. I am really sorry to see you drop out because I've quite enjoyed your posts -- for the most part anyway. :)

In response to your questions in my comment section (since I don't reply there):

YOU - "Hey, I didn't see the book 'LEFT FOR DEAD' pictured there! What the hey?! Ain't you gotted it yet?"

ME - No, I haven't gotted it yet. I am currently unemployed so book buying is at the bottom of my priority list. I will get it once I am able though and will be sure and let you know about it! (smile)

YOU - "You on the Lecithin?
Avoid the aging, the heart attacks and the strokes before it becomes a fad to do so!"

ME - I went to my local mom 'n pop health food store on Thursday and they only carry it from 'NOW', unless I wanted 40 pounds of it. The owner of the store and I chatted for about an hour and he assured me it was a great brand. I will be purchasing some next week either from him or if I can find it in bulk.

Thanks again for the great info!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Lisa ~

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

mousiemarc said...

Where I wouldn't call your A to Z blog bits unworthy of being read they are (in my opinion) substandard to your normal Stuffs, and totally substandard to your F-F-F friends blog. Therefore, I'll be the lone ranger and say it. I'm glad your abandoning this!!! Your readership has increased since starting this, and that is long over due. So it wasn't a waste of time. Just time that could have been spent else where.

Grammy said...

Hey there, Stephen, Sorry to see you go, but I understand completely. It can be difficult to come up with things to write and make it worthwhile for people to spend time reading it. It has been fun having you in the 'challenge' though. I will be back to read your thoughts, though.
Best regards to you, Compadre!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...


You said you was gonna do it, and you did. At least for now. You sniveling, ferret-faced fascist!

I am very sad that you have made this decision. You are perhaps the best writer I know... and I know plenty, including several authors with books published at major publishing houses. Your light stuffs, featured here, combined clever whimsey with an encyclopedic knowledge of music, literature, and sports. And everything else, too.

Damn. Now I will be FORCED to spend more time studying your less fun but more important musings over at the Ferret Faced Fascist blog. It is MUCH less fun, because - as I am learning - it is almost all correct, and certainly not uplifting. Except for the acknowledgement of God's ultimate control, of course.

As Yul Brenner snapped at the end of "The Magnificent Seven": Adios!

And, as Pope Paulus the VI said: "Arrivederci e buona fortuna, Stephen, e continuano a mangiare gli spinaci."

April 18, 2010 9:27 PM

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Very well stated, my Brother. You and I clearly see eye-to-eye on this. While I don't really think that what I wrote during the "A To Z Challenge" was awful, it did indeed represent "time that could have been spent elsewhere" to better effect.

Two, maybe three of the Blog Bits ranked up there with my Gooder Stuffs, but the fact that the best, most entertaining Blog Bit I posted was my last one, the "Goodbye", has got to be indicative of something.

But what's REALLY overdue is my asking you this question: How or why did you come up with the pseudonym "MousieMarc" when there isn't anything mousy about you?

Your kind words are truly appreciated! And best regards to you, too, my dear!

MR. PAULBOY (a.k.a. Pope Paulus VI) ~
Very nice of you to say, Brotherman. ("Now go and lie no more", as The Bible says. Or as The Bible WOULD say if it said it.)

But methinks you misunderstand. I am not completely abandoning 'Stuffs', never to post again. I'm merely dropping out of the "April A To Z Challenge" in which I was supposed to post a new Blog Bit Mondays through Saturdays based upon the next letter in the alphabet.

I will indeed be posting more stuffs on 'Stuffs' in the near future. Next up will probably be answering Arlee Bird's other "challenge" to defend my belief of reincarnation from a Biblical point of view (which, as every Bible student should know, is rather easily done).

After that, probably my own "challenge" to all of my readers to list their top 15 "Desert Island" music discs. So, you might want to start giving that some thought as you too will be required to participate or risk a lifetime ban from 'Stuffs'. What's it gonna be? The Who and... what? (I've heard of The Who but I've never heard of What. What hits did What have? And Who's on first?)

Anyway, there will be more stuffs on 'Stuffs', so you will still be able to avoid the hard truths at 'F-FFF', Ostrichboy. (Ha! I'm just teasing you... Ostrichboy.)

Yours was one of those Emails I have neglected due to my daily "A To Z" blogging. But now that I'm out, you can look forward to a reply later this week. Lucky you!

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

I'm so sorry to see you disappear! Don't be too scarce though, will you? I thoroughly enjoy your posts!

Hmmm ... so .. what was it, then, the profile pic that made you decide to finally follow me? ;)

I'd never have stopped visiting your blog anyway!

Hope all is cool and dandy on your end ...

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

AlliAllo ~

>>Don't be too scarce though, will you?<<

Oh, like Santa Claus, I'll still come around.

>>Hmmm ... so .. what was it, then, the profile pic that made you decide to finally follow me?<<

Yeah, that was it!
And "Following" makes stalking easier.

(I'll leave the real answer on your own Blog.)

>>I'd never have stopped visiting your blog anyway!<<

Sure, sure - that's what they all say. Next thing ya know, they're gone and you can't even find 'em with a private investigator and a Geiger counter.

>>Hope all is cool and dandy on your end<<

What do you mean by THAT?!
Are you trying to pick a fight with (Mc)me?


~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

Caledonia Lass said...

Sad to see you go! But you gave it a good effort! I'll still keep lurking in the background. I don't get to comment as much as I like these days, but I will drop by from time to time.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Thanks for your support. It's appreciated. I look forward to your future visits.

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

In answer to your EPIC comment on my blog: You are a breath of fresh air! Of course I won't take offence if you stopped following. I'm so glad I have been able to hold your interest so far. You've definitely held mine. And I couldn't care less if I lost you as a follower. What I WOULD care about is if we were never able to share each other's writing again becasue I've grown to really like you. I'm not being mushy here ... LOL ... I'm just seriously intrigued by you, and your voice. There's something about you that makes me want to keep coming back. I even get excited to hear what you have to say about my writing too - I value your opinion because I can see how talented you are. So following or not following, I couldn't give a damn. Please do not stop being 'blunt' - that's what I LOVE about you. I hate, pitter patter beating round the bush. I say what I think, and so do you. That's awesome. And, gimme a controversial topic any day. I thrive on them! :) You're great - don't let anyone tell you otheriwse.


Hi, I have just recieved your comment about the whereabouts of a certain drinking establishment.
On my Piano man poem.

I'm not sure what is was called but that day we had visited Yosemite National Park drove for some miles then stopped at this place, this man came in and started to play the piano.
We were on our way to Death Valley
so don'tknow what the nearest place was. My camera battery was not too good hence the blurry effect.
I do know though that many years ago a president stopped there and they showed us the room he slept in.
Thanks for the comment, much appreciated.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

AlliAllo ~
Ah, you are too kind, Sister! Thanks for the very nice comment. (You probably made me blush - dang it! Or maybe it was the Habanero pepper-stuffed olive I just ate.)

"And I couldn't care less if I lost you as a follower."

Speaking of a "breath of fresh air", do you have any idea how refreshing it is for me to find someone who says/writes it CORRECTLY?! I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard or seen someone express it, "I could care less." Everyone, even professional writers, get it wrong. The latter version is actually saying the exact opposite of what they "think" they're expressing. This is one of those pet peeves of mine - minor and silly though it may be.

"I say what I think, and so do you."

I'm a big believer in speaking truth. One of my mottos is: "I'd rather know an unpleasant truth than believe a pleasant lie."

And I want people to know that when I say something, I really am speaking the truth from my perspective. I want to believe the same thing from them, too.

That paid off for me big time way back when my cousin went into Rock 'N' Roll. He was playing the Los Angeles club scene, and I'd go see him to be supportive, but in truth, I didn't really like his various bands, nor his vocals, and I was pretty guarded with my comments.

Then I moved out of state for a little over a year. Shortly after moving back to L.A., my cousin called me and wanted to drop by my apartment, drink a beer and play me his new demo. He put in the cassette tape, and when I picked myself up off the floor, I accused him of having sold his soul to the devil at the Crossroads to have progressed so much so quickly.

I was totally effusive in my praise, and he knew he could trust me, that I wasn't just BSing him, because I had long ago established a track record of honest critique and no BS.

"You're great - don't let anyone tell you otheriwse.

Aww, heck, I don't pay no attention to no one no how. (I mean, unless they say nice things about me. Then I'm all ears:o)

Thanks again, my friend. Very, very kind of yaz.

Oh. Well, I must have been mistaken then. But, boy, in those photos it sure does look a lot like The Bucket Of Blood Saloon in Virginia City, Nevada.

Thanks for stopping by to straighten me out.

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

mousiemarc said...

Well it really comes from my ability to mimic the once great Mickey Mouse. At one time this fictional character represented both its creature (walt disney) and the greatness of this once free land. Of course Mickey has since been used disgracefully by the NWO profiteers who run that once great company. Now they own porn companies who release spoofs of the old disney films. Walt would be burning with anger. Using many of the characters he created or promoted for childrens entertainment being used to destroy peoples lives.

Any who, my on line names history as you requested.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...


"Walt would be burning with anger."

He certainly WOULD be. Way back when, some artists made a short, pornographic cartoon involving Mickey and Minnie, meant to amuse Walt on his birthday. He pretended to enjoy it just long enough to find out who was responsible and then he fired them on the spot. Hooray for Walt!

"Any who, my on line names history as you requested."

I DIDN'T REQUEST THAT YOU CHANGE IT!!! I merely asked how you came by it. Heck, it's fine by me, Brother.

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMekey

Ellie said...

I totally understand why, I have neglected a few projects, if you change your mind, come back!

I will visit you again, to see what
a regular blog post is!

You have a unique style; I will check out other posts, that I missed!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Hey, thanks, ELLIE!

Yeah, I have to believe that there are other bloggers out there participating in the "A To Z Challenge" who don't ordinarily post every single day and are therefore finding themselves neglecting a few "real life" projects that they ought to be tending to. I can't imagine I'm the only person who was falling behind in other ways, especially if they are making a genuine effort to read the Blogs of many others, leaving comments and responding to comments left for them. I can't be the only one in "A To Z" who was finding themself greatly "Time-Challenged."

As it stands right now, however, I am thinking about making surprise reappearances on Days S and W because those were two letters which I had things already prepared for and was looking forward to them.

Ellie, thanks for stopping by!

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

Rae said...

Oh, Stephen, I understand completely! This challenge has been inspiring, but it has also put unwanted pressure and time constraints on my normal blogging habits.
We will miss you, but I'll be checking in. And don't worry if you can't comment on my blog. Just come by every month or so to say hi!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Okie-Dokie, RAE.

~ Stephen
"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11