MY FAVORITE DRINKS

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“My Favorite Things” is one of my favorite songs. It was written by Rodgers and Hammerstein for the musical The Sound Of Music – a musical I happen to like, by the way, and if you think that somehow makes me less of a man, you can just . . . let me know and I’ll change my mind.

No song ever composed is more addictive to my brain than is My Favorite Things; the melody is so catchy that once I’ve heard it, it will continue to bounce around off the walls inside my skull for hours or, more often, for days and even weeks! I simply can’t get that melody out of my head, and although the song was not conceived as a “Christmas” song, it has become associated with the most wonderful time of the year because of its reference to sleigh bells and snowflakes and silver white Winters. It’s almost impossible to go through the Holiday season without hearing My Favorite Things at least a couple of times in one place or another. Which tells you, of course, that every year through most of December, those lyrics are bouncing off my internal walls and shaking my brain to bits.

On December 17th, I received a Christmas Care Package from my dear friend The Flying Aardvark. Included in the box were two tins, one containing her world famous chocolate chip cookies (well, they're famous in “my world” anyway) and another with rum balls and eggnog cake from two new recipes she tried out this year. Well, after popping that first rum ball into my mouth, I immediately raced to my computer and sent her an e-mail that said in part: “I'd better not have any more of these today or I won't make it to work. And I'd better hide this tin from Nappy [my Brother] or I won't get any more rum balls either.” I stressed to the Flyin’ Aard how “delicioso” those rum balls were. (Do you know what delicioso means? It is, after all, a word from a foreign language.)

Well, not long afterwards, a sentence about the Aard’s rum balls popped into my mind, but I said the line in rhythm with the melody from My Favorite Things, since that song was, as always, ping-ponging around in my headbone. This instantly gave me the idea to write my own lyrics for that melody. And so now I give you the world premiere of Stephen T. McCarthy’s spoof of My Favorite Things titled . . .

MY FAVORITE DRINKS

Ale from England and hot Irish Coffee
Golden State wines and iced tea made “Long Island”
White Russians and Russians as Black as ink
These are a few of my favorite drinks

Thunderbird, Mad Dog, and Mickey’s malt liquor
Small cups of sake gone straight to my noggin
Martinis ‘til my mind no longer thinks
These are a few of my favorite drinks

Scotch on the rocks and please leave me the bottle
Aard’s yummy rum balls and rum for a chaser
Mint-green Grasshoppers and champagne that’s pink
These are a few of my favorite drinks

When the beer bites
When the gin stings
But I’m not quite drunk
I simply pour more of my favorite drinks
And then I don’t feel the funk

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

Postscript: Incidentally, I left Brother Nappy a couple of rum balls and a slice of eggnog cake in a Ziploc bag yesterday and the next time I saw him, the very first words out of his mouth were: “Man! Those were the best rum balls I’ve ever had! The Eggnog cake was good, too, but the rum balls stole the show.”

Only minutes ago, I spoke with Nappy on the phone and he said he wants a rum ball to give to some co-worker because he told him how great they were and now the dude wants to try one. The problem is that, likewise, I was planning to give one to a friend where I work, although [*Gasp!*] we’re down to only 7 rum balls (but who’s counting?)

Flyin’ Aard, if you’re hearing this, you need to get those intoxicated little elves at the rum ball factory working overtime and double-time! All I want for Christmas is my two . . .
fifths of rum balls. *Hick!*

[Hey, y’all, it’s almost Tiny Tim Wish Fulfillment Day. Read the Blog installment below, and please don’t forget Tiny on December the 25th. Correct!]
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