'TINY TIM'S CHRISTMAS ALBUM' [Join The Tiny Tim Wish Fulfillment Team!]

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“I believe in keeping the Christ in Christmas.”
~ Tiny Tim

Last month, I won a copy of ‘TINY TIM’S CHRISTMAS ALBUM’ at eBay. I got it for only ninety-nine cents! (I was the only person who placed a bid.) Well, let me tell ya, I feel that I scored big time.

I’ve found Tiny’s ‘Christmas Album’ to be not unlike most Tiny Tim projects. That is to say, it’s something of a mixed bag which includes some great stuffs, some things that are… uhm… hmmm… well, let’s just say “not too felly good-uh” and leave it at that. And then, of course, there are a few of those always endearing weird and wacky moments that stamp something as a genuine Tiny Tim affair.

In the first category, there is track #8, in which Tiny delivers in his big baritone voice the most utterly convincing, totally sincere, absolutely heartfelt version of ‘Silent Night’ I have ever heard! However, one of those strange Tiny Tim moments (“Timisms”) presents itself when he delivers a (off-the-cuff?) monologue in the middle of ‘Silent Night.’ How many listeners expect to get chastised during a Christmas carol? But tell us what you REALLY think, Tiny . . .

"Silent Night. Those words are true. For on one day we get pompous and religious, with great ornaments and great, great facades. But how many silent nights do we have in denying Jesus Christ the other three hundred and sixty-three days of the year? How many times do those of us who put on false tears and profess the kind of reverence on one day?

"Hypocrites, right in His name, professing His name. Fornicating with children; fornicating with young girls, and professing His name. A hatred of races, a secondary class and a thirdary class. And yet, we put on our best faces on one silent night of the year.

"But our silent nights in professing Jesus Christ’s name every day of the year, in the shame of mentioning the name of Jesus Christ in public because our friends won’t like it; our business friends may deny us. It’s not chic to mention the name of Jesus Christ, so we mention God, or we mention Lord, but we’re really silent to His ways – WE’RE REALLY SILENT! We have silent nights every day of our lives, except for Christmas Eve. O ye hypocrites. O Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner. SING THE SONG! But first… do His deeds."
~ Tiny Tim

A “thirdary” class? God bless Tiny Tim!

There’s a song on Tiny’s ‘Christmas Album’ titled ‘Mission Bell’ in which Tiny does some Rapping. Uh… Ha! …yeah, seriously, Tiny Knows Rap!

But without a doubt my favorite wacky Timism comes in the middle of his eight-minute ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’ Medley. While singing ‘Amazing Grace’, unfortunately, Tiny suddenly has a brief coughing fit. But like the trouper he was, Tiny sings right through it. After all, the show must go on!

A little over a week ago, I played that for my brother Nappy while he was eating. It caught him in mid-mouthful and I was afraid he was going to spew half-chewed food all over the walls.

This last weekend, he approached me at one point and said, “You know what I want to hear? I want you to play me that song where Tiny Tim starts coughing again. I’ve been thinking about that all week long.”

So I put it on again, and Nappy and I cracked up and agreed that it’s pretty much the funniest thing of all time. Oh, God, I love Tiny Tim!

With total honesty, I can tell you that I would have happily paid over ten bucks alone just to get a copy of Tiny Tim coughing through ‘Amazing Grace’. So, when I tell you that I feel I scored big time in getting the entire album for just ninety-nine cents, you can (sorta) understand where I’m comin’ from.

Well, now onto the business at hand . . .

This is 2009’s final reminder to y’all about Making A Wish For Tiny Tim on Christmas Day. If you’re not sure what we’re doing here or why we’re doing it, then make sure you read or reread this: THE MAKERS OF ‘MOTHER CROAKER’S HEMORRHOID OINTMENT’ PRESENT . . .

That will explain this (at least to the degree that it’s explainable).

And here’s my promise to all of my friends and to all of Tiny’s fans worldwide: If you ‘Make A Wish For Tiny Tim’ this Christmas Day or any Christmas Day in the future, and if you post a comment anywhere on my Blog letting me know that you’ve done this great thing for Tiny, I promise to add your name below to ‘The Tiny Tim Wish Fulfillment Team’ roster. Do it and tell me – and let me know generally where you did it – and I will applaud your wish for Tiny by publicly proclaiming it.

At the time of this posting, ‘The Tiny Tim Wish Fulfillment Team’ is comprised of just four individuals, but I hope and trust that I will be adding YOUR NAME to the list below before long. I thank you and (I assume) Tiny thanks you for your generous spirit in making a wish for Tiny Tim.

THE TINY TIM WISH FULFILLMENT TEAM:

#One: Napoleon “3-D.” McCarthy – Airheadzona, U.S.A. [Nappy made the original Wish For Tiny Tim, circa 1999. Nappy is the founder of our festivity.]

#2: Stephen T. McCarthy – Airheadzona, U.S.A. [Yours Truly joined my Brother in making a wish for Tiny Tim, circa 2000, and this doggone wacky annual tradition was born.]

#3: Amy, the Flying Aardvark – California, U.S.A. [She began making a traditional Christmas Day wish for Tiny in 2007, extending this weirdness beyond just the McCarthy Loonies.]

#4: Mr. Paulboy Prodigalman VI – Washington state, U.S.A. [Joined the team on 12/25/2008.]

#5: Tennessee Kat - Tennessee, U.S.A. [Joined the team on 12/25/2009.]

#6: Lyle "Pooh" Flynn - California, U.S.A. [Joined the team on 12/25/2009.]

#7: Ol' WP (aka "Kalamata Br-O") - Connecticut, U.S.A. [Joined the team on 12/25/2009.]

#8: [Will YOU be number eight? Yeah, you! I’m talkin’ to you!]

“Do your best and pray for the rest.”
~ Tiny Tim

Please don’t forget Tiny this Christmas Day and every Christmas Day to come. Thanks! You'z good people.

Ukulelely Yours,
~ Stephen T. McCarthy

Postscript: Incidentally, you have never really lived until you’ve heard Tiny Tim’s cocktail lounge version of Led Zeppelin’s signature song ‘Stairway To Heaven.’
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