Wednesday, February 16, 2011

THE BERNARD PIVOT BLOGFEST

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First things first: Don’t fergit to sign up for the February 28th “SUPER 8 GREAT DEBUT ALBUMS” Blogfest. Click HERE!

Don’t fret, friend, I’ll remind ya again at the end.
(Yeah, I’m poetically unchallenged.)
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It seemed that it would be such a quick ‘n’ easy project, that I signed up to participate in Nicole Ducleroir’s ‘Bernard Pivot Blogfest’. I thought to myself: What the hell? (Even though “hell” isn’t my favorite curse word.)

The idea is to answer ten questions conceived by Bernard Pivot which James Lipton routinely asks each and every one of his guests on the TV program ‘Actor’s Studio’. So here are my answers to these not-so-challenging questions:

1. What is your favorite word?

Oh, shoot, that’s a challenging question! There are so many words that greatly appeal to me. I mean, ya gotta love “antidisestablishmentarianism”, right? Who cares what it means! And, of course, “supercalifragilisticexpi—” ...oh, never mind – my fingers are getting tired.

Well, one that I really like is “bourbon”. I love the look of it, the sound of it, the smell of it, and even the taste of it. Yep, I’ve always gotten great pleasure out of “bourbon” – I enjoy typing it almost as much as I enjoy drinking it. But truthfully, my favorite word can change daily.

However, for today, I’ll go with an old standby that perpetually ranks amongst my Top 25. Today’s word is “FLUMMOXED” . Use it early and often.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Oh, I dislike it when people act pretentiously, using a multitude of large words in order to give the impression that they are especially intelligent or well-educated. For example, I dislike every other word that emanates from the mouth of Dennis Miller or stumbles off the tongue of Todd Christensen.

But non-pretentious words that I also dislike are “chick” and “sucks”. [Hmmm... I swear I didn’t premeditatedly put those two words together like that. It was merely an unfortunate coincidence. No, really!] However, despite my displeasure with them, I do occasionally use both of those words when I’m being that Stephen who only my Mother could love.

But a word I don’t like and never use is “Groovy”. It’s been on my Banned Vocabulary list since “The Summer Of Love” – 1967.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

GOLDENSHADOW – the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing.

4. What turns you off?

The only thing that turns me off quicker than a tattooed woman is a tattooed woman driving a pickup truck. In other words, two-thirds of half of the American population turns me off. [How’s that Individuality workin’ for ya, babe?]

5. What is your favorite curse word?

I don’t use profanity, so I’m not going to
answer this bullshit question!

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Oh, hokey-smoke! Nothing beats that little *eeep!* sound that a cork makes when it’s pulled from a bottle of bourbon!

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

The barking of small dogs. Nothing compels me to preheat the oven faster than a yapping Chihuahua!

The only thing that could possibly be worse is the screeching of Chihuahua nails on a chalkboard!
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8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Other than my own? Oh, heck, just about anything - you name it!

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Other than my own? A Chihuahua breeder.
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10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Come on in and join Me at the ‘Cloud Nine Last Supper Club’, where Mahalia Jackson’s always on the stage and the bourbon’s always on the House.”
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For “Mo’ Fun With Chihuahuas” see . . .
The Chihuahua Cutthroat

And sign up for the February 28th “Super 8 Great Debut Albums” Blogfest. (Told ya I’d remind ya again at the end, friend.)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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30 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

LOLOL! I knew I'd be superbly entertained by your answers and I'm cacking myself! LOL ... chick and sucks. LOLOLOL :o)

Tony Benson said...

Groovy answers. I'm off to shut the Chihuahua up now.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

AlliAllo ~
Ha! Thanks! Glad ya cacked it. ;o)
I'm off to check out yer answers now...


TONY ~
Cool (not "groovy") comment. Thanks!

And "gracias"... anything you can do to quiet that dog will be "mucho" appreciated. Otherwise he's going to be today's lunch. But Chihuahuas always give me such heartburn.

~ Stephen

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

I was cracking up reading your answers! The curse word answer was awesome. And you described the sound of a cork from a bourbon bottle perfectly. Bravo!

Thanks so much for playing along!

Her highness, Samantha Vérant said...

Hys.ter.i.cal. I'm going to send you a chihuahua to thank you for the laugh! Which you'll probably reply with this chick sucks...

L.A. Colvin said...

OMG # 5 is freaking hilarious!!!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

NICOLE ~
>>.....And you described the sound of a cork from a bourbon bottle perfectly.
Thanks. I've heard it so often, ya know?


HER HIGHNESS ~
Well, one thing's certain: You do and I won't be calling you "groovy"!
:o)


L.A.C. ~
U B.S.ing me? ;o)

~ Stephen
"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11

Sylvia Ney said...

New follower here. I love these responses, especially the Chihuahua ones. If you get a chance, check out my answers at: http://writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/

Jen Chandler said...

Oh LORD I'm still laughing over the chihuahua comment. I've never thought of preheating my oven when I see/hear them. Firing up the lawnmower however...

Fun answers!
Cheers!
Jen

Arlee Bird said...

Once again you've provided another unique approach to things. Why would you want to deprive the world of your blog-- well at least a small part of the world--a very small part.

What kind of fancy bourbon you drinking that has a cork? Mine always have a cheap plastic cap that doesn't make any noise until I drop it--which I usually do.

Good for you for giving a plug to that groovy Super 8 Blog event. Anyone who's not doing it sucks.

Lee
Tossing It Out

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

SYLVIA ~
Thanks! Glad ya dug 'em. (Yeah, "dig" and "dug" are OK, but "groovy" is OUT!) I'll definitely make it over to your blog and leave a comment.


JEN ~
Ha! Yeah, I suppose a lawnmower would work - and if you don't clean up afterwards, it might make good fertilizer for your grass.

But my lawnmower ran out of gas years ago, so I usually just head for the oven.


BOID ~
>>.....What kind of fancy bourbon you drinking that has a cork? Mine always have a cheap plastic cap that doesn't make any noise until I drop it--which I usually do.

Ha!-Ha! That happens to you TOO?! What the hell is it that makes a bourbon bottle cap/cork so slippery after your 12th drink? I can't figure it out!

Try Elijah Craig bourbon or Maker's Mark. Good stuffs. Corks. (Hey, that might make a good exclamation for something that is superior: "It's CORK, man!" I think I like that.)

>>.....Good for you for giving a plug to that groovy Super 8 Blog event. Anyone who's not doing it sucks.

My thought EXACTLY! Well... almost exactly.

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Ellie said...

OMG . . .your answers are too funny. And the dogs! Love, love, loved it.

Bernard Pivot Blogfest

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

ELLIE ~
See, now I'm "funny"... but when I was in fifth grade, everyone just said, "He's sick".
:o)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Kittie Howard said...

I'm laughing so hard I need a tissue. In Louisiana it's that ole Cajun cousin, Jacques Danielle. I don't know any Louisianians who sip mint julips, but I know a bunch who drink bourbon and coke (er, I prefer Diet Coke) or sip bourbon on the rocks. Ever seen the liquor shelf at a mom and pop stop in Louisiana? As for yappy dogs, groan, a neighbor's got one of 'em. Don't get me started.

Oops, almost forgot, I'm dropping in from the blogfest (cheers!) and am your newest follower.

VR Barkowski said...

After careful consideration, I think want an invite to your heaven. Sounds, well, heavenly.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

KITTIE ~
Thanks for stopping by here and sayin' "Howdy".

>>.....In Louisiana it's that ole Cajun cousin, Jacques Danielle.

Ahhh... Ha! Jacques Danielle is whiskey but not bourbon. But there ain't a thing wrong with Jacques. In fact, that's Jacques I'm drinking at the base of the Statue Of Liberty in my photo on this blog.

>>.....Ever seen the liquor shelf at a mom and pop stop in Louisiana?

Well, I don't recall specifically, but probably so. I've been out Louzeeanna-way on more than one occasion, and even toured the Jacques Danielle distillery during one of those trips. Have some friends and family members there. What I remember most, however, are the fireflies at night.


VR ~
Glad ya think so! I'll be honest, I thought it sounded a lot like "Home" myself. I think I could get real comfortable there real quick!

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

KO: The Insect Collector said...

Very funny list.
Down with groovy!

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Together, 7 and 9 are priceless!

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

KO ~
"Far Out!", you are "Right On!": Down with "Groovy"!


WENDY ~
Thanks! It seems that honesty really IS the best policy.

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Rae Frazier said...

It's always good to visit an old friend...enjoyed your BPB post and looking forward to the A to Z Challenge. I was introduced to so many great writers last April- but sadly, most have lost touch. (Had a hard time reading and commenting on a hundred blogs a day.) But I'm gonna bookmark you so I don't miss anything! Have a supercalafragilistic day!

Talli Roland said...

I'll have a 'lil bourbon in Heaven too, please! :)

Kittie Howard said...

Hi, Stephen, Thanks for the follow-back. Yep, I told the truth about 'zounds'. During Shakespeare's era it was actually stronger than the f-bomb. Will didn't write for English classes; he wrote to make money. His plays reflect the era's bawdiness. Actually, "Romeo and Juliet" is one of the dirtiest plays ever written.

If you like, a university book store should carry a dictionary of what weird words like 'zounds' really meant back then. It's rough stuff, enough to make a sailor blush. I had to take several Shakespeare courses at LSU for my major. Really good profs put all in perspective.

Also, my father said that during WWII, 'buff' was stronger than the f-bomb. Buffy the Vampire Slayer could be a tongue in cheek play on that era.

And 'Avatar' swims in theosophy and the akashic records.

It's all just writers having fun.

J.L. Campbell said...

Still chuckling...what did you do to that rabid-looking Chihuahua is what I wanna know.

Angela Scott said...

I know some people type LOL and their not really LOLing at all (just kinds smiling, but no real belly laughs or chuckling out loud). Well sir, I was LOLing for real. I loved your post and enjoyed your humor tremendously.

And Chihuahuas suck (oh, wait you hate that word)...Chihuahua's are annoying. Better?

Angela Scott said...

Oh, I forgot to ask? How in the world did you get bourbon near the Statue of Liberty with all the bag checking?

You're tricky. I like it.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

RAE ~
Howdy! Thanks for stopping by! I sure remember you from last year's "A To Z" Blogfest - you were one of the very funniest bloggers participating!


TALLI ~
Heck, Heaven wouldn't be so "heavenly" without bourbon, now would it? In fact, if you ask me, any place without bourbon would be more like hell.


KITTIE ~
I really appreciate the "Zounds" lesson. I knew there HAD to be some good reason why that word has always appealed to me so much.

I never saw 'Avatar' but... "the akashic records"? We don't get into that much on this blog. Neither the Akashic Records, nor talk about Chakras, Soul Pre-Existence, and Reincarnation.

Most of my two readers expect me to keep to the topics of booze, sports, music, and... well... I guess that's about it. You know, the mo' "important" stuffs.


JL ~
If I tell you, I go to jail. Now is that really what you want?
;o)


ANGELA ~
I thank you, Sister!

No, you're right: Not only are Chihuahuas NOT "groovy", but they "SUCK"!
:o)

As for the Jack Daniel's and Lady Liberty: I hate to admit this but, that's a VERY old photo. 1983. It was no trouble carrying a bottle of whiskey over to the Statue then. All you needed was a bottle and a pocket.

I've heard that they no longer allow visitors to enter the Statue, is that true? Back in '83, I climbed to the top and took a couple photos from out of the windows in her crown. (I might have also left the empty whiskey bottle inside her belly. Mind you, I'm not stating that as a definite fact, as I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is on statues.)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Kittie Howard said...

Hi, Stephen, Thanks for the nice comment. I'll check out your link.

I'm not into all that stuff either in my personal life or on my blog, LOL! My main focus is Louisiana stories. Obviously I can't post stories non-stop, so I break with blog fests and general comings and goings.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

KITTIE ~
I hear ya. We all need a little break from the "everyday" now and again, and variety is the cinnamon of life, as they say.

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Heather M. Gardner said...

Ha! Great list. I would have thought Chihuahua's would be stringy.
Thanks for sharing your answers.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

HEATHER ~
Chihuahuas ARE stringy. But stringy is better than barking!
:o)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'