Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I WANT A HIPPIE POTTY-MOUTH FOR CHRISTMAS!

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[From the STMcC archive; 2007, Dec. 3rd.]
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The Little Drummer Boy
DVD
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In his famous book, 'WALDEN', Henry David Thoreau wrote: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer."

Little Aron is MY drummer, boy. Get yer own!

A Charlie Brown Christmas
DVD
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"In countless homes around the world, the Christmas season doesn't officially start until Linus shuffles to center stage, raises a finger and says, 'Lights, please'." Thus wrote journalist Dave Walker.

Frosty The Snowman
DVD
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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" says Frosty the snowman.
(Sure, he may be a cool dude, but he's about as bright as a snow cone.)

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
DVD
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See my guide "Ho!-Ho!-Oh! Merry Christmus!" to read my theory about Jessica Claus' plastic surgery and bust enhancement.

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
DVD
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See my guide "Ho!-Ho!-Oh! Merry Christmus!" to learn how DEY MOIDED DA BOID!

Rudolph, Frosty & Friends Favorite Christmas Songs
by (you guessed it!) Rudolph, Frosty & Friends
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Classic television songs! Buy this compact disc before Burgermeister Meisterburger declares it illegal, immoral, unlawful, and says that anyone found with it in their possession will be thrown in the dungeon. (No kidding!)

The Best of Leroy Anderson: Sleigh Ride
by (you guessed it again!) Leroy Anderson
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Nothing says "Christmas" to me like Leroy Anderson's original 1948 instrumental, 'Sleigh Ride.' Believe it or not, he composed it during a July heat wave in Connecticut. Wow! What an imagination!

The Christmas Music of Johnny Mathis: A Personal Collection
by Johnny Mathis
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No singer handles Christmas standards better than Johnny Mathis. 'Winter Wonderland' transforms me into a kid again! See my review titled, "ATTENTION: THIS E-MAIL JUST IN FROM THE NORTH POLE."

Christmas Collection
by The Carpenters
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The Carpenters make lovely music celebrating the birth of
a carpenter's Son.

Music Of Christmas
by Percy Faith And His Orchestra
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Well, I suppose it's better to have percy faith than
no faith at all.

22 Merry Christmas Favorites
by Lawrence Welk
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Gimme an old-fashioned Christmas with Lawrence Welk rockin' around the Christmas tree. C'mon baby, let's take a Welk on the wild side! Uhm, walk on the Welk side? Aw, you know what I mean. Welk Wules! Yeah, that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!

Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics
by George Carlin
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Nah. Thanks anyway, but this ain't the
"hippie potty-mouth" I want for Christmas.

It's A Wonderful Life
DVD
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Every Christmas Eve our family forms teams (except Nappy usually has no partner) and we play the 'It's A Wonderful Life' Trivia Game. It's all in fun, and no one takes it too seriously. Here's a list of the past winners:

1998: Rick & Sher
1999: Rick & Sher
2000: Rick & Sher
2001: Rick & Sher
2002: Rick & Sher
2003: Stephen & Ty
2004: Stephen & Ty
2005: Stephen & Ty
2006: Stephen & Ty
2007: Nappy
2008: Rick & Sher
2009: Stephen & Ty

But, you know, who's keepin' score? It's just a very relaxing way to spend some entertaining time together, enjoying each other's company. (And we've all learned that if one wears a red shirt on Christmas Eve, the blood stains don't show very much after the game is over.)

Miracle On 34th Street
DVD
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"Well, a man’s gotta do SOMETHING to keep warm."
Thus sayeth the drunken Santa in 'Miracle On 34th Street' - justifying the pint of Christmas Cheer in his coat pocket.

Hot And Spicy Winter Toddy Mix
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Well, a man's gotta do SOMETHING to keep warm.
(Don't forget to add the rum, rummy!)

A Christmas Story
DVD
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Yeah? Well, let's see YOU place your tongue against the frozen North Pole. Go on! "I triple-dog dare ya!"

And don't-cha just love that scene with the impatient elves and the evil Santa at the department store? Ha! I knew you did, man. Funniest scene in any movie EVER!

Scrooge
DVD
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Marvelous sets and music, with Albert Finney leading a great English cast makes this funny and joyful production the definitive version of 'A Christmas Carol.' Be sure you see this one! -- "THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

Dr. Demento Presents:
The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD
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It wouldn't be Christmas without hearing 'Santa Claus And His Old Lady' and 'I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas' and 'I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas.'

Oh! Wait! It's a "HIPPOPOTAMUS"? Not a "HIPPIE POTTY-MOUTH"?

Oops. Sorry. My Mistake.

Holy Bible: From The Ancient Eastern Text
Translated by George M. Lamsa
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LUKE, Chapters 1 & 2 = The Reason For The Season.

Give someone the perfect CHRISTmas gift this year: The Word Of God.

This is the best translation of God's Bestseller. It's twue! It's twue!

Care Bears Holiday Hugs
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We all know, of course, that Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. But I wouldn't CARE BEARY much if Santa "accidentally" ran over a few of these crummy commercial critters, too. Would you?

Christmas Album
by Tiny Tim
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Tiny Tim said: "Most of all, I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns.
I'd also like just one more hit single."

Every Christmas Day, my brother Nappy and I drop a coin into a body of water and make a wish that Tiny Tim will get his second hit song.

Won't you help us make Tiny Tim's dream come true? Let's all wish Tiny out of the One-Hit Wonder category posthumously! Drop a coin into water and send out a wish for Tiny on December 25th. Make it a part of your own Christmas tradition, too.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Original Soundtrack Recording Of The CBS Television Special
by Vince Guaraldi
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The Vince Guaraldi Trio's soundtrack to the Charlie Brown television special has become a genuine Christmas classic in its own right. Cool, Jazzy, and childlike in its joyful simplicity. Beautiful work by a unique keyboard stylist. When I made the switch from LPs to CDs in 1989, this was one of the first compact discs I bought. Heck, I'm gonna put it on RIGHT NOW!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
by Dr. Seuss
DVD
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His heart grew how many sizes that day?
C'mon! Ya gotta pay attention!

I hope you enjoyed this Christmas List. But if you didn't, then go make yer own damn list!

Oh yeah, and have a Wonderful Christmas, too.
No, REALLY! I'm being serious now.

(And please, don't forget about Tiny Tim. . . . Yes, still being serious.)

Merry Merry!
~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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6 comments:

arlee bird said...

Leroy Anderson has been a favorite of mine since childhood. He probably caught my attention when I was a kid with the novelty nature of some of his music--I saw him then as a kin of Spike Jones--but now I recognize the genius of his melodies and song structure. I used to play "Plink,Plank, Plunk" on my violin (poorly)-- what TV show did that used to be the theme song for?

Lee

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Hmmm...
I used to know that. I'm thinking it was from some game show. "JEOPARDY" maybe?

That's my guess.

Hold on - I'm gonna look inside the booklet of my Leroy Anderson CD and return with the answer.

Stand by . . . [1:35 PM]

[1:37] . . . Can it be that we're BOTH wrong? According to the notes, "THE SYNCOPATED CLOCK" was used as the theme music for "The Late Show" on WCBS-TV in New York for over 25 years. There's no mention (that I see at a glance) of "PLINK, PLANK, PLUNK" being used as TV theme music.

As I said before: Hmmm...

~ Da Blogology Doggtor

arlee bird said...

Okay now I looked it up and "Plink, Plank, Plunk"
was the theme song for "I've Got a Secret". "Syncopated Clock" was also the late show in San Diego in the late 50s and early 60s -- I remember hearing it when I used to stay up late weekends.

Lee

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Ah. OK, rLEE-b. I was pretty sure I remembered one of Leroy's musical pieces having some sort of association with a television game show. Just couldn't remember which musical piece nor which game show, but other than those small details, I was ENTIRELY CORRECT! ;o)

~ Da Doggtor O'B.S.

DiscConnected said...

Stephen-I noticed your list is missing the Twisted Sister Christmas CD. How could you overlook this classic?

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

`
DOH!
Uhp! I'm an idiot!

Hey, man, what are you doing here?
You never come around these parts.
And really, you shouldn't - they're private!

~ Da Doggtor O'B.S.