Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Whazit2u? #9: Your Favorite Batman Television Villain Is...
4 votes.
Penguin: 2
Joker: 1
Riddler: 0

“Holy Bat-Poll!” I voted for Catwoman, of course! “Batman” was my favorite TV show when I was a little kid, and I always had a thang about Catwoman. And I’m speaking of Julie Newmar, ya un’erstan’ – there was no other Catwoman, so don’t even talk to me about Lee Meriwether and Eartha Kitt.

I was always especially fond of those episodes where Catwoman had Batman all tied up, but I was never really sure why they appealed to me so much. Let me add that it was Julie Newmar’s OUTSTANDING figure that first made me vaguely aware that there was a difference between men and women, although at such a young age, I couldn’t quite put my fingers on the difference. By the way, Julie Newmar appeared in the September 1969 issue of Playboy magazine wearing nothing but her birthday suit. I know this only because I happen to collect that magazine. Oh, I don’t mean that I collect Playboy; I mean that I collect that particular issue of Playboy. I have 107 copies of it at the moment. I was hoping to add at least one more copy to my collection this year, but none of my so-called friends or family members got me one for Christmas.

Whazit2u? #10: Your Favorite Beatle Is...
2 votes
Paul: 2 votes
George: 2 votes
Ringo: 1

Well, I guess we finally settled that question once and for all, eh? The best Beatle was John, Paul, and George. (Me, I voted for “the cool and quiet Beatle.” You know who I mean.)

Whazit2u? #11: Your Favorite Cartoon Character Is...
Foghorn Leghorn:
5 votes
Bugs Bunny: 1
Mickey Mouse: 1
Homer Simpson: 0

Hokey-Smoke, this really surprised me! I thought for sure Homer Simpson was going to win this, but he didn’t get a single vote. I can hear him now: “DOH!”

Who’d I vote for?...
Ah jhust loves— ah say, ah jhust loves me some Foghorn Leghorn. Look at me when ahm tahkin’ to yuh, son. (Boy’s about as bright as a broke— ah say, bright as a broken lightbulb.)

Whazit2u? #12: Your Favorite Dessert Is...
Ice Cream:
5 votes
Cookies: 1
Pie: 1
Cake: 0

I naturally tend to give everyone I like a nickname. If you’ve known me for a long time but I’ve never called you by some nickname, then the odds are that, secretly (Shhh!), I probably don’t really dig you all that much.

Likewise, I have been called by many nicknames: The boys at the Summer baseball clinic I attended in my youth called me “Diving Brooks” because of a spectacular catch I once made in left field. (I wonder how many of you remember the great Baltimore Orioles third baseman Brooks Robinson?) In high school, some teenagers called me “Narc” because I participated in the Police Explorer Program. My friend Pooh gave me the nickname “Mister Intense” because I used to be somewhat… well… intense. Cranium used to call me “Glowworm” because I was so skinny and so white. A girlfriend, The Countess, liked to refer to me as “Ol’ Bilge Rat”, which she got from Disneyland’s Pirates Of The Caribbean ride. The leader of a spiritual study group I belonged to long ago used to call me "The Old Testament Guy" because I didn't always buy into their mushy New Age mumbo-jumbo. And many years ago, I even gave myself a couple of nicknames: “Trummy Tewksbury” (a combination of Louis Armstrong’s trombone player, Trummy Young, and the baseball pitcher Bob Tewksbury) and also “Black Cole Kid” (a combination of Black Bart, Cole Younger, and Billy-The-Kid).

But because of my ice cream addiction, early this year, a few guys where I work gave me the nickname “Two Scoops.”
You scream, I scream, we all voted for ice cream!

Whazit2u? #13: Which Of These Animated Xmas Shows Do You Like Best?
How The Grinch Stole Christmas:
4 votes
A Charlie Brown Christmas: 1
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer: 1
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town: 0

I went Charlie Brown on y’all, but that mean one, Mister Grinch, ran away with it.

Whazit2u? #14: Which Of These Xmas Songs Do You Like Least?
Santa Baby:
3 votes
The 12 Days Of Christmas: 1
Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas In Hawaiian): 1
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer: 1

I hate “Mele Kalikimaka” - I mean, I REALLY HATE IT… almost as much as I hate “Santa Baby.”

Whazit2u? #15: Which Of These Is Your Favorite Christmas Treat?
3 votes
Christmas Cookies: 2
Eggnog: 1
Hot Buttered Rum: 0

Yes, I voted for “Fruitcake”, but no, things are not as they appear. My friend Mr. Paul confessed this in an e-mail to me:
“I loathe fruitcake, but it was an altruistic vote given in the Christmas spirit to support our less fortunate brothers.”

Ha! So, fruitcake is not really officially out of the Christmas Doghouse just yet.

Whazit2u? #16: Which Of These Actors Made The Best Ebenezer Scrooge?
Albert Finney:
2 votes
Alastair Sim: 2 votes
Reginald Owen: 1
George C. Scott: 1

Alastair Sim is considered the “Classic” Ebenezer, but he’s not my favorite. Other than the “B Westerns” of my singing cowboy hero Roy Rogers, I don’t warm up to many musicals, but “Scrooge” (1970) starring Albert Finney is one of the rare exceptions. In fact, it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, and I can’t decide which Christmas film I like better, “Scrooge” or “It’s A Wonderful Life.” Yeah, it’s that good. Who knew that "A Christmas Carol" could contain so much humor? Don’t miss it next year, y’all, or Christmas morning might bring your stocking nothing but Black Cole Kid. (Don’t make me have to come over there!)

As for George C. Scott… well, he makes me laugh in “Dr. Strangelove” and he made a boffo General Patton, but I find his performance as Ebenezer Scrooge to be embarrassingly bad! I mean that literally – I was downright embarrassed for him when I saw it. Years ago, I even invented a kind of joke about it:

Q: What’s the difference between George C. Scott’s curmudgeonly Scrooge and his cheerful Scrooge?
A: The cheerful Scrooge tips his hat to passersby.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

Postscript: The Whazit2u? Polls are being discontinued due to lack of interest. Well, lack of interest AND because there just haven’t been enough voters to make the Polls worthwhile. Nevertheless, my thanks to all who DID contribute.

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