Sunday, May 3, 2009

HITTIN' BRITS & BETTIN' HORSES

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Hokey-Smoke & Hoo-Wee! Did you see that boxing match yesterday between MANNY PACQUIAO and RICKY HATTON? Pacquiao is faster than a punctured parachute descending from 12,000 feet, punches harder than a Kansas cowboy and displays the precision of a 65-year-old virgin librarian named Madge! He’d be holding political office already if the Filipino people hadn’t voted him down so he could continue knocking the Hattons out. But hats OFF to HattON for lasting almost two rounds against the phuture Philippine Pohlitician.

How’d you Brits like spending hundreds of dollars to travel to Las Vegas only to see the U.K. K.O.ed in under two rounds? Did yer British pounds take a pounding? Bloody ‘ell! Now toddle off; enjoy yer hangovers on that long flight back to Manchester, England, England, across the Atlantic Sea.

And speaking of horses’ asses, did you catch the running of the 135th Kentucky Derby yesterday? Dippity-Do & Woo-Woo-Woo! MINE THAT BIRD going off at 50-1 odds, force-fed the rest of the field his dust, crossing the wire as the second biggest long shot winner in Derby his-tor-eee! On May 2nd, 2009, Swine Flu.

My brother Nappy lost his Derby bet with me but he got the bust when he said winning jockey Calvin Borel sounds exactly like Ernest T. Bass. Bloke looks a little like him, too. Give Calvin the trophy but hide the rocks and bricks!

And that was This Day In Sports, 5/2/Aught-Nine.

If this Blog Bit made as much sense to you as a World War II Japanese code, then you’ve found this website by mistake. Go away.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
"As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11
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