Wednesday, March 17, 2010

PAIN: THE MARTINI GIVETH AND THE MARTINI TAKETH AWAY

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Standin' on a corner in Prescott, Arizona
Such a damn sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford
Slowin' down to take a shot at me
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Nothin' but the best:
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On the road again . . .
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Goin' where the lonely go . . .
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Kaw-Liga, you poor ol' wooden head:
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PAIN:
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THE MARTINI . . .
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GIVETH . . .
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AND THE MARTINI . . .
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TAKETH AWAY:
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There's something to be said for Ale . . .
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A "Real Man" Watering Hole:
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A "Real Man" Watering Hole:
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NOT A "Real Man" Watering Hole:
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Yes, "Apathy Is Deadly."
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And so is "Sailor Jerry" . . .
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Both should be serving life sentences
without the possibility of parole.
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"Whiskey,
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Women,
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And Warthogs" . . .
"The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly."
(The order? Negotiable.)
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Is Jose Cuervo beating you like you're a dog he owns? . . .
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Don't DELAY!
Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline TODAY!
Excedrin and Alka-Seltzer are only a phone call AWAY.
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Have you been injured in an accident?
Let us help you get all of the compensation you're entitled to! . . .
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Call the law offices of BUSHMILLS, DANIELS & BEAM.
We'll see to it that you get everything you have coming to you
(if you haven't already).
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Happy Saint Patrick's Day, all you saintly Paddys!
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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7 comments:

arlee bird said...

Well McCarthy, that was different-- for this site at least. A pictorial blog. At least there weren't any pictures of cats or kids. You didn't tempt me with the martini this time--I got my Irish Beer to go with my corned beef and cabbage.
Lee

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

`
>>[You didn't tempt me with the martini this time]<<

Afraid O'Pain, eh, Irish Red?
Don't McWorry: it taketh away, too.


~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

mousiemarc said...

I think it should be renamed st. pirates day.

FFF-F #VI said...

OK, now I know you are serious!

You are trying to wean us off of the Stuffs Blog and drive us - screaming - to the Furry Faced Fascist Friends blog!

If you are only going to show us booze and blood, then our interest levels surely will wane.

Maybe... and don't call me Shirley.

Wassup wid the hand injuries? And why does the palm injury flip from your right hand to your left? Are these DOCTORED photos? Or did a physician even look at your hand? Or the photos?

Who am I, and what am I saying? Sheeeee-it.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Howdy, Mr. Paulboy Prodigalman the VIth ~

>>[If you are only going to show us booze and blood, then our interest levels surely will wane. Maybe... and don't call me Shirley.]<<

Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Shirley?
Didn't I show ya warthogs, too?

>>[Wassup wid the hand injuries?]<<

I fell off my horse.

>>[And why does the palm injury flip from your right hand to your left?]<<

It's the magic of Magic. And a good magician never tells how he does it.

>>[Are these DOCTORED photos? Or did a physician even look at your hand?]<<

Nope, no doctor saw it; I'm savin' money, if not the finger. If it was the Important Finger - the one I express myself with - I would have shown it to a doctor. But this minor finger I can afford to lose.

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe

FFF-F #VI said...

Well, you are right. Perhaps I was too hasty.

You DID show us pictures of warthogs! That was nice. Plus, there was a picture of a couple of animals with tusks underneath.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

`
Ha!-Ha!
Oh, sheesh, man! You're even worse than I am. You a-gonna get youself in trouble with N.O.W. sayin' stuffs like dat! ;o)

~ "Lonesome Dogg" McMe