Sunday, October 30, 2011



This is a “super-silly-ous” song I threw together yesterday for my own amusement. Since it is double-themed, pertaining to Pirates (always one of the most popular costumes for kids at Halloween) and Blogging, I am dedicating it to my little community here in the Blogosphere as a Halloween treat. (Think of it as that bad apple dropped into your bag of candy.)

I kind of imagine this song with a Reggae beat, or perhaps a Calypso rhythm. Then again, maybe it should be a Rooskie-like Polka-ski. Well, I’ll leave it to David Lindley to figure out.

It’s a little light on lyrics so I inserted a couple short instrumental breaks to flesh the thing out. I know it’s dumb, but it was first conceived solely to put a smile on my face and a spring in my step... also, I happen to like dumb. The really good stuffs by a real songwriter will follow.

(A Blog Pirate’s Yarn)

[This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.]

I’ll storm the gates, I’ll maim the guard
Ravage the women, raise my flag in your yard
I’m going to kidnap your cat
Put fleas on your dog and when I’m done with that . . .

Wreck your records with a nail
Seduce your daughter, throw your wife in jail
With my eyepatch and my parrot
I’ll shout at your baby and really scare it

I’m gonna dress like Jolly Roger Antichrist and before the next election
I’m-a gonna commit me some outright mutiny in your blog’s comment section

Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho! I’ll drink your rum
And do a Rocky Balboa on your thumb
I’m gonna “Arrrrr!”, I’m gonna brag
I’m gonna rip your jerseys and make ‘em rags

I’ll board your blog, steal your booty
And edit your posts into something fruity
You’ll walk the plank and hit the sea
While I graffiti your blog and boast with glee

I’m gonna dress like Jolly Roger Antichrist and before the next election
I’m-a gonna commit me some outright mutiny in your blog’s comment section

[Instrumental Break:
featuring kazoo and bagpipes]

I’ll make your blog my own forum
Line up your “Followers” and then I’ll gore ‘em
I’ll bind John, Paul, George and Ringo
And ship those pinkos back to where they should-go

I’m-a wreak havoc and raise hell
And duct tape your mouth shut so you’ll never tell
It’s true, dead men tell no tales
S'pose I’ll hafta kill ya if duct tape fails

I’m gonna dress like Jolly Roger Antichrist and before the next election
I’m-a gonna commit me some outright mutiny in your blog’s comment section

[Instrumental Break:
featuring jug and washboard]

I’ll hoist my colors up your mast
And use your own blog to call you “jack-assed”
I’ll commandeer your computer
And I’ll screw it up with a Roto-Rooter

From your site I’ll tell the nation
My humor’s chock full o’ sophistication
As if that crime weren’t sin enoughs
I’ll take over "Russia" with my "fascist stuffs".

I’m gonna dress like Jolly Roger Antichrist and before the next election
I’m-a gonna commit me some outright mutiny in your blog’s comment section
In your blog’s comment section
Your blog’s comment section
Your blog’s comment section
[Repeat to fade out or pass out, whichever comes first]

BONUS TRACKS (The Blues) :

OK, that’s enough of that ridiculousness. I’m done wid it. Now here comes the good stuffs . . .

In my last blog installment, Julie Fedderson left a comment telling me that she’s “recently started a fascination with the blues”. (Incidentally, Julie’s blog is one of the more entertaining I’ve found in the Blogosphere, so I’ll link you to it at the bottom of this installment.)

So, here are a couple of John Lee Hooker songs that Julie and everyone else ought to be familiar with if they aren’t already.

This is my favorite version of “House Rent Boogie” – love the way Hooker delivers this one! He just gets so worked up when talking about his clothes being tossed out in the street. Ha! Funny stuffs! (Do ya think George Thorogood knows this song?)

I first acquired “House Rent Boogie” on cassette at the Watts Blues Festival in, like, ‘84, and for years I went around saying “Yes, yes, yes” and “You don’t like that stuff!”

Now, when you’re listening to this next one (it’s much shorter), see what Texas band of White rockers comes to your mind. (I’ll give you a small hint: ZZ Top.)

Julie Fedderson’s GYPSY IN MY SOUL blog.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.


Kelly Robinson said...

Encore! Encore! And if I see a lot of fruity-looking blog posts, I'll know who to blame.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

That you will, KELLY, that you will!

But I'll bet it was the jug and washboard solos that really captivated you, huh?

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

julie fedderson said...

Awesome pirate inspiration! And I am very happy to have you as a blues mentor--love your picks here. Thank you so much for the mention of my blog, too. Very chivalrous for a pirate.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Ha! Yeah, I'm afraid I’m not exactly the best pirate. I’m too good to be a pirate and too bad to be a saint. I’m probably a “Paint”.

And I probably wouldn’t make a good Blues mentor either. But here’s some buying suggestions I would make to start anyone out on a good foot:

“Howlin’ Wolf” by Howlin’ Wolf (with the rocking chair on the cover)
“Moanin’ In The Moonlight” – Howlin’ Wolf
“The London Howlin’ Wolf Sessions” – (Don’t listen to the so-called “Blues purists”, this a great album!)

“His Best, 1947 To 1955” by Muddy Waters
“His Best, 1956 To 1964” – Muddy H2Os

A little bit o’ Lightnin’ Hopkins and John Lee Hooker.

For some sizzling Chicago-style Urban Blues electric guitar look into Albert King.

It’s not going to be everyone’s Cuppa Joe, but for the real down-home acoustic Country Blues sound check out Robert Johnson.

And, of course, every Blues fan really ought to own the original studio version of B.B. King’s song “The Thrill Is Gone”. It’s certainly not the flashiest Blues guitar solo ever, but to me, it’s probably the ideal representation of that “feeling” the Blues aims to capture. The tension and release of that solo is perfection.

After you’ve got that stuffs, you’ll have a great foundation and you’ll find your own way to your own favorites.

Please let me know if you dig up any fantastic gems I should be aware of.

~ D-FensDogg
‘Loyal American Underground’

Arlee Bird said...

You sound like a potentially dangerous individual. Or perhaps you are begrudgingly antisocial. Then of course there exists the possibility that you are just plain weird.

Maybe all of the above?

You should run for office. Can you run fast?

Ann Carbine Best visits Wrote By Rote on Saturday 11/12/11

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Yes, I am potentially dangerous... to myself.

Oh, I think I'm rather eagerly antisocial.

And, I prefer to think of myself as "extra fancy weird".

McBrother, I couldn't run fast even 30 years ago! (That's why I've always flown with Bacardi 151.)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'