Saturday, November 1, 2008

WHAZIT2U? POLL RESULTS: #1 THRU #8

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While putting together these first “Whazit2u” polls, I had no real idea about what I’d do with them. I suppose I figured I’d just delete them after the voting time expired and create others… or not.

But I’ve since decided to continue to create them and then post the results of each set of questions in my “STUFFS” Blog, just for the heck of it. These first 8 I left open for about three months, but in the future, I will post only four Whazit2u polls at a time, and they will run for just a single month, beginning on the first day of each month. Obviously, therefore, the voting tallies for subsequent polls will be considerably smaller than these first eight.

The next set of four Whazit2u questions (for December) have already been more or less created and they will all be related to a Christmas theme. But if anyone has suggestions for future Whazit2u polls that they would like to see, feel free to post your idea(s) here in the Comment Section, and if I also like your question(s) and answers, I will use them in a future Whazit2u poll. Remember please: Keep the question short and the potential answers to a total of four.

Well, now, here are the results of the Whazit2u? polls number 1 through 8:

Whazit2u? #1: Who will you vote for in November?
Barack Obama:
4 votes
Other: 4
John McCain: 1
None: 1

According to our poll, Barack Obama will easily win the presidential election four days from now. That’s pretty much what I’ve expected all along, and so we’ll see how accurate our poll results were. While I certainly don’t expect Obama to win by the 4 to 1 margin indicated here, neither do I think the election is going to be in doubt or require a recount. (Vote “RON PAUL”!)

Whazit2u? #2: Which of these songs is most obnoxious?
Paul Anka’s “(You’re) Having My Baby”:
4 votes
Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman”: 3
Morris Albert’s “Feelings”: 1
Rod Stewart’s “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?”: 1

Although I myself voted for Paul Anka’s “(You’re) Having My Baby”, I gotta say, each and every one of these songs is obnoxious to the nth degree – I HATE ‘em all and I couldn’t argue with ya regardless of which one you yerself might have voted for. I mean, really, it’s like trying to decide which of four piles of polecat crap is the worst. Ya know, like, polecat crap?

Whazit2u? #3: Which woman was prettiest?
Marilyn Monroe:
7 votes
Suzanne Pleshette: 3
Jennifer Aniston: 2
Julia Roberts: 0

Oh, PLEASE! Suzanne Pleshette is BY FAR the prettiest woman in that collection. Sheesh! Why, I’ll bet you people would have voted for Madonna if I had included that ugly little tart in here. You people gotta lot to learn about beauty and the female form!

Whazit2u? #4: Which music group do you like best?
The Beatles:
4 votes
The Rolling Stones: 4 votes
The Beach Boys: 3
Yoey O’Dogherty And His Corn Liquor Boys: 0

Oh, this is just heartbreaking! You people prefer The Beatles’ “Back In The U.S.S.R.” to The Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ U.S.A.”? You’d go with The Stones’ “Sympathy For The Devil” over The Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows”? This breaks my heart.

And what’s worse, not a single vote for Yoey O’Dogherty And His Corn Liquor Boys? How soon they forget! What about those legendary YO&HCLB albums like “My Baby Busted My Heart But I’m Cryin’ ‘Cause I Sliced Her Onion” and “If I Had A Nuclear Warhead-Tipped Missile (Baby, We’d Have A Hot Time In The Barn Tonight!)” or their mega-selling greatest hits package, “Drunken, One-Eyed, Three-Legged Jackal In A Dog Show”? Then there’s that Grammy award-winning collection of Country Christmas classics titled “Santy Claus, Leave Some Chewin’ Tobaccy And The Hatfield Sisters In My Crusty Ol’ Stockings Tonight” and the soundtrack to their Emmy award-winning educational series for mountain children called “Country Folk, Corn Liquor, And Matches Don’t Mix!” And have you already forgotten their fabulous live album, “Y’All Come Back Now, Hear?” recorded during their reunion tour, thirty years after the band last broke up? Heck, one can even go all the way back to their explosion on the music scene with that eclectic debut album of theirs titled “Maria Muldaur. (Oh, wait! My mistake; I think maybe that debut record was by Maria Muldaur.)

Whazit2u? #5: Which magazine do you read "for the articles"?
Playboy:
5 votes
Time: 1
Newsweek: 1
National Geographic: 1

Well, if you’re a man, you KNOW it’s Playboy that you read “for the articles.” And those articles are so well-written, informative and historically important that, after you’ve read them, you save the magazines in cardboard boxes in your garage for decades.

Whazit2u? #6: Which band is most overrated?
U2:
5 votes
The Red Hot Chili Peppers: 3
The Rolling Stones: 2
Led Zeppelin: 1

I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, but I have heard way 2 many U2 songs, and that’s why they got my vote. Has any other band ever gone so far with so little? (Someday they’ll learn a third chord and change the name of the band to U3.)

Whazit2u? #7: Which scent do you like best?
Fresh Mown Grass:
7 votes
Napalm In The Morning: 3
Brand New Carpeting: 1
Puppy Dog Breath: 0

Looks like I’m the only person who loves the smell of new carpeting. When I walk into a newly carpeted house it’s like a religious experience. Put me in an actual carpet store and I begin to hyperventilate and have a sexual reaction.

Whazit2u? #8: Which person is most masculine?
Stephen T. – “I’d better win this!” – McCarthy:
5 votes
Rachael Ray: 3
Dom DeLuise: 1
Pee-Wee Herman: 1

Oh, you like me, you really like me! (My apologies to Sally Field.)
So, I beat out Rachael Ray, even though I myself voted for her. I thank everyone who voted for me and invite each and every one of you to meet me tonight at The Raucous Moonbeam for Pink Ladies – the drinks are on ME!

“Thay, fella, find another seat! Couldn’t you see I was sittin’ here with all muh girlfriends?"
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Happy ALL SAINTS DAY, Y'all!

~ Stephen T. “Macho Man” McCarthy
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2 comments:

mousiemarc said...

I read this the other day and it was a knee slappapapin Heeeeee haw larious!!!!!!!! I do believe I found my laughin place. Even if it is a laughin at sad but absurd issues.



Br'er Marc

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

"Sad But Absurd" issues - why those are my specialty, Br'er Marc! "Happy And Important" I don't do nearly so well.

Really glad ya enjoyed it, Brother.

~ STMcC
<"As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11>