Wednesday, February 29, 2012

THE BEST O’ BUZZES?

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Yesterday (actually, make that “today” – I’m a bit confused) I worked my first “graveyard” shift in many years. This graveyard work detail I’ve been assigned to supposedly goes through March. Unlike Rocky Balboa, I’m not even hoping to “go the distance”. It’s a forgone conclusion that I will get knocked out by this graveyard job; I’m merely trying to go as many rounds as possible before I’m KO’ed. (The bell for Round Two rings in two hours.)
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So, I got home and crawled into bed about 8:30 AM this morning, right after taking a 10 mg. Melatonin tablet and one of Brother Napoleon’s WAL-SOM nighttime sleep aid tablets (25 mg. of Doxylamine Succinate). I know from past experience that just one of those WAL-SOM tablets will hit me really hard and remain in my system for a very long time – I’m extremely susceptible to their effects for whatever biological reason.
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At 4:15 PM today, I was awakened by the barking of my neighbor’s dog, which must have smelled Brother Napoleon getting close to home after a long day at work. So I sez to myself, ‘Nappy will be coming through the front door any minute, making a lot of racket, so I might as well get outta bed now’, sez I.

I've brushed my teeth, and I’m drinking a bottle of ENERGY 2000, trying to wake up and shake off the dopey, cobweb effect of the WAL-SOM that’s still in my system, when the Napster comes in, and by 4:35 PM he’s eating a sandwich and drinking an Odell’s ‘Red Ale’.


Well, I’m feeling pretty hungry myself, so I microwave one of those Ramona’s chile relleno burritos I like so much. And as Nappy and I are eating and talking, that ‘Red Ale’ he is drinking is looking better’n better. To begin with, Odell's ‘Red Ale’ is one of the finest beers I’ve ever had, besides that, I am feeling thirsty and thinking about how good that would go down along with this chile relleno burrito.


So I break down, pop a ‘Red Ale’ open, and pour one down the chute. (Yes, one and one ONLY – I am perfectly capable of drinking just a single beer! Whaddaya think, I’m a lush or something? Whatever gave ya that idea?) I was right: Ramona’s chile relleno burrito and Odell's ‘Red Ale’ – “two great tastes that taste great together!”

So now I’ve got WAL-SOM in my body trying to put me back to sleep, and Energy 2000 in my body trying to rev me up, and 12 ounces of Odell’s ‘Red Ale’ in my bloodstream just mingling with the others and sayin’, “How-d’ya-do?”.
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With all those chemicals in the mix, simultaneously pulling and pushing me, slowing me down and speeding me up, it was like trying to shift into first gear and into reverse at the very same time. One might suppose that would leave a body in “neutral”, but what I found out is that SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE, and instead of me going forward or backward or idling in a parking space, it drove me STRAIGHT UP!

Hokey-Smoke, what a high! That was some seriously good stuffs! 
(I wonder what the street value of this chemical-combo would be.)

Within minutes of blasting off, I went to take a shower so Nappy and I could watch a DVD movie together before he went to bed. Getting into the shower stall, I stumbled and nearly tumbled. Then I almost washed my face with my Mane 'N Tail shampoo instead of my Walgreen’s ‘Gentle Skin Cleanser’.

I kid you not, peoples, I can state unequivocally that I’ve not felt THAT GOOD since 1974, when I had an erotic dream one night about Susan Dey.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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25 comments:

  1. Now you know that same combination, albeit a bit harder combination (cocaine & heroin(, killed John Belushi. Stay gold pony boy.
    JW,
    Pooh

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  2. AND POOH...
    Not a bad way to go out feeling!
    (Add Susan Dey and stir and it probably would have killed me, too.)

    Love ya, man (JW!)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  3. Wow, that's crazy sounding stuff mate, I seriously want to try one of those burritos and one of those ales now! Sorry to hear you're on a rough night time job now too, that sounds like it sucks man.

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  4. And you're calling me Nitro? You might want to take it easy on the Chemical Cocktails, Buckaroo.

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  5. Sorry ~ I forgot to ask ~ Are you trying to completely ruin the 'romantic elements' of Michael Franks for me? If I keep thinking of him in that tiny room with Roger and Michael it will all be the end of any kind of 'turn on'. *wink wink*

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  6. I already knew part of the recipe for happiness was beer; I just never knew that WAL-SOM and Energy 2000 were the other part of the equation.

    I love Odell's. Great beer. And I have to say, as a connoisseur of Mexican cuisine, I've eaten my fair share of burritos, and I've eaten my fair share of chile rellenos, but a chile relleno burrito? You'll have to excuse me, as my brain just exploded.

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  7. MATTHEW ~
    Yeah, it "sucks" alright - big time, Brother!


    NITRO ~
    >>..."You might want to take it easy on the Chemical Cocktails, Buckaroo."

    On the contrary, I'm thinking that next time I'll add 3 cups of coffee and 30 mg. of Temazepam to the recipe. I figure it'll only make me fly higher and faster. (I may have just stumbled on a way to circumvent the T.S.A.'s totalitarian sexual abuse!)

    >>..."If I keep thinking of him in that tiny room with Roger and Michael it will all be the end of any kind of 'turn on'."

    "Turn on"? Here ya go:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy5THitqPBw


    BEER SHOWER ~
    >>..."You'll have to excuse me, as my brain just exploded."

    Really? Hmmm... I wonder where ya be livin', 'cause in Arizona and Southern California, chile relleno burritos are very common; they're available in all the Mexican fast food joints. I was eating them regularly in L.A. back in the late-1970s, if not earlier.

    Yeah, Odell's brews some great brews. I've tried at least 4 of their varieties, and they're all high quality, but the 'Red Ale' is my favorite.


    Well, ALL, it's almost 8 AM and I gotta go to sleep. I'll catch up with y'all later.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  8. Filbert:

    Did you forget,I can't copy and paste out of the comment block or are you just teasing me?

    Also, I hope you ARE teasing about the Chemical Cocktail. For many of my friends a 'Chemical Cocktail' was their method for an 'early exit visa' as opposed to a bullet in the head. It REALLY scares me.

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  9. Sounds absolutely CRAZY...and not safe. (Do I sound like a nagging mother?) Drugs aside, you made me want to try the Red and Rellenos. Might be on the menu some future weekend...

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  10. N.W. BABSKIDDO ~
    >>…For many of my friends a 'Chemical Cocktail' was their method for an 'early exit visa' as opposed to a bullet in the head.

    Not to worry, I’ve never had such good luck.

    Indeed I did forget about your Copy & Paste issue, as I will certainly do again (probably sooner than later). Alright, try clicking HERE and see if that works for ya.


    RAE ~
    Good luck with the “Reds & Rellenos”. They both might be a bit difficult to find though, as I know they are limited in availability. It’s a “state” thang.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

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  11. OK, that was funny, but it doesn't exactly turn ME on. Maybe I should give her direction to the storage locker in Idaho. Roger, Franks, and Michael might appreciate it more.

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  12. You have no idea how dangerous that can be. You dumb bastard. I love you, but for being so smart that was kinda on the not intelligent side. Alcohol, over the counters, prescriptions, and such are not a good idea says this nurse.

    Love ya,
    Br'er Marc

    P.S. Please don't do that again.

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  13. BABSKIDDO ~
    Ha! No, I didn't really expect that "mojo" was gonna work on you.



    BR'ER MARC ~
    Ahh, nuttin' that felt THAT good could be that bad for me.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  14. I don't know which is more offensive, the blatant use of advertising you've adopted lately or the suicide cookbook you're compiling here. Wait a minute! I get it. Metonymy. Consuming --> death. You have consumption? Susan Dey, though. I thought guys your age were more into Farrah Fawcett. Anyway, life is fatal, my friend. But we don't need to keep reminding ourselves. Too morbid.

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  15. This reminds me of the night I had Vicodin and Red Bull in my system. I didn't know which end was up.

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  16. W2W ~
    It's not "advertising" if I'm not getting paid to "put it out there" (which I'm not). This is what's known as "sharing the love" or "turnin' 'em on".

    No, I was never a Farrah Fawcett fan. I did once get into a fight with a friend of mine, Greg, over who was going to get Maureen McCormick. (I can scarcely remember the fight now, but Greg must have won it, because I know I didn't wind up with Maureen.)

    >>..."Anyway, life is fatal, my friend. But we don't need to keep reminding ourselves."

    Or as Zevon put it: "Life'll Kill Ya".

    I think the main thing is to enjoy whatever amount of time we have. Thus, my recipe for fun.


    KAREN M'DEAR ~
    Ooh! That sounds like a winner. You ought not float ideas like that...
    ;o)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  17. Oh my God, crazy boy... Will I end up writing a novel about you... after your passing??? lol

    Thanks for stopping by and for your sweet comment.

    I just found out that my Part 2 post was linked to the "Jack Reacher Chronicles" facebook page (
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jack-Reacher-Chronicles/338132482873895?sk=wall)

    isn't that cool? :-)

    Be careful, don't mix those things any more...please!

    Lady Doris

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  18. LADY DORIS ~

    >>..."Will I end up writing a novel about you... after your passing?"

    Would you do that? Would you really do that for me? Thanks! Please make sure the character representing me is known for his honesty and for always showing up to work on time. Oh!... and that he (I) learned how to "fly".
    [;o)}

    Yes, very cool that someone "reached" out and brought you to your Reacher teacher. You're really starting to get noticed, and it couldn't happen to a nicer Lady.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  19. So, let me get this straight: burrito, beer, melatonin, an energy drink, and horse shampoo. I'm off to the market.

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  20. Ah, Susan Dey back in the day, but now I guess I might opt for the burrito. I gotta find some of those Ramona's burritos.

    And are you hating this new comment situation as much as I do? I may have to scrap the pop-up box and go back to the embedded comment box. I don't think it's as bad as it used to be.

    If you respond to this I may forget to come back and won't see it. I hate it!!! My mind's not that sharp anymore and I can't remember where I've been. And I haven't even been drinking or anything.


    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge
    Blogging from A to Z

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  21. MISSED PERIODS ~
    Don't forget the WAL-SOM!


    BOIDMAN ~
    Actually, I haven't had any problems with the new comment format. Of course, it doesn't look as good as it once did, but you know, it simply HAD TO BE CHANGED because it had been a month or two since the Blogger web designers had changed anything and thus justified their positions on the payroll.

    I do think the comments might load and post a mite faster than they did before, but I thought the older appearance was better.

    What is it you are objecting to? It sounds like you're implying that you no longer receive Emails to your P.C. when someone posts a new comment on a site where you've posted one. Is that it?

    If so, that hasn't affected me because I never subscribed to that particular program.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  22. What is it you are objecting to? It sounds like you're implying that you no longer receive Emails to your P.C. when someone posts a new comment on a site where you've posted one. Is that it?

    This is exactly it. I have a hard time remembering that I left a comment somewhere let alone where I left it. I guess I could keep a commenting log next to me to record my comments, but what a hassle. I've found it easier to just get emails when comments are left and I can look for responses to mine and skim through the rest. Sure, it's more emails but I have a separate email account used just for comments and it's very easy to get through them and I don't have to go back to blogs until I get a response if I ever even do get one.

    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out
    Voting for A to Z Video Contest Now Open

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  23. BOIDMAN ~
    Well, you shouldn't complain about the now-missing, very convenient 'Email Notification System'. After all, the Blogger Geeks absolutely HAD to "FIX" the older Comment System... because it was just so... so... "older". And it worked so damned effectively that all the users were just way too satisfied with it.

    SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY HAD TO BE DONE ABOUT IT!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  24. Susan Dey? Seriously???

    That was almost as funny as George Costanza getting caught by his mother with his pants down and a Glamour magazine.

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  25. GIRL WONDER ~
    I don't remember any erotic dream I ever had about her, so that was a little blog lie. Not a "big lie", just a "blog lie".

    However... heck yeah, SUSAN DEY!

    I would take Susan Dey ANY day (or night).

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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